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From: mat@mtx5a.UUCP (Mark Terribile)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: about a**holes
Message-ID: <1125@mtx5a.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 17-Nov-85 03:25:05 EST
Article-I.D.: mtx5a.1125
Posted: Sun Nov 17 03:25:05 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 18-Nov-85 06:35:07 EST
References: <186@houligan.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Holmdel, NJ
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>          Anyways, I agree with Bird Dog.  The policy of honesty is best
>      when dealing with either sex and Bird Dog is merely being honest
>      though a bit obnoxious at times.  Finally,  "sensitive and caring"
>      is just another euphemism for lacking the backbone to be honest with
>      yourself (brutally if necessary) and others.  Also, I think that
>      it is the 80's yuppie reaction to the macho boom of the 70s and is
>      to be avoided at all costs.  Don't be macho or "sensitive", just be
>      f**king honest.
>
>
>				Honestly,
>
>			        "Bullwinkle"
>				...!ihnp4!pur-ee!csd-gould!houligan!farmer

I am going to assume that you are serious.

	`` `Sensitive and caring' is just another euphemism for lacking the
backbone to be honest with yourself and others'' ???

	If your goal is to communicate, brutal honesty is not likely to
get a message across unless you are talking to someone who knows you well
enough to know when to take you absolutely seriously.  If your goal is
to improve the lives of those around you, hurting feelings and refusing to
share hurts and sorrows, as well as joys, is only going to make enemies.

	Brutal honesty:

		You need to read ``How To Win Friends And Influence People''.
		The author is Carnagie, Dale.  You'll find it under self-
		improvement at your local bookstore.  By the way, you could
		probably get a lot out of that section of the store.

	There now, I've been brutally honest.  Will that serve my goal of
convincing you that you're wrong?  Will it make the world a better place?
Will it do ANYTHING useful, besides making me feel good while making both
of us look like damned jerks?

	Tact and a little try at understanding:

		Brutal honesty may not be the best way to get the honest
		message across.  As Dale Carnagie says, the only way to
		get someone to do something is to arouse in him a WANT
		to do it.  And this includes believing you.  Carnagie's
		``How To Win Friends And Influence People'' talks about
		how to do this, and how to get people working WITH you
		so that you never have to be brutally honest -- ordinary
		honesty is difficult enough to get right.  By the way,
		if it weren't for ``HTWFAIT'' your local bookstore probably
		wouldn't HAVE a self-improvement section.  The genre would
		not exist if Dale Carnagie hadn't made a success of it.

	And yes, you SHOULD read the book.  If you're perfect and don't
need it, I'm sure the Carnagie estate would appreciate your hints for the
next revision of the book.
-- 

	from Mole End			Mark Terribile
		(scrape .. dig )	mtx5b!mat
    ,..      .,,       ,,,   ..,***_*.