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From: davel@zehntel.UUCP (David Longerbeam)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: sensitivity
Message-ID: <1933@zehntel.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 18-Nov-85 12:59:19 EST
Article-I.D.: zehntel.1933
Posted: Mon Nov 18 12:59:19 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 20-Nov-85 00:51:41 EST
References: <880@cvl.UUCP> <186@houligan.UUCP> <269@l5.uucp>
Organization: Zehntel Automation Systems Inc, Walnut Creek CA
Lines: 56

> In article <186@houligan.UUCP> farmer@houligan.UUCP (Claude Farmer) writes:
> >
> >          Anyways, I agree with Bird Dog.  The policy of honesty is best
> >      when dealing with either sex and Bird Dog is merely being honest
> >      though a bit obnoxious at times.  Finally,  "sensitive and caring"
> >      is just another euphemism for lacking the backbone to be honest with
> >      yourself (brutally if necessary) and others
> 
> I have been called insensitive a lot.  After worrying about it a lot, I
> have discovered that most of the people who have asked me to be sensitive
> simply want to be left in their bullshit.  But, unfortunately for me, there
> is also another set of people who are not asking for dishonesty when they
> accuse me of insensitivity.  
>   .
    .
    .
> 
> But there is real compassion which holds no pity or dishonestry and is not
> judging.  I have had glimpses of it, and it is wonderful stuff.  I know a few
> people who appear to walk around with that level of compassion all the time.
> They are not insensitive in the way that I am. So I think that while
> ``sensitive and caring == coward'' is a very good rule of thumb, it is not
> the whole story. 
> 
> 
> -- 
> Laura Creighton		
> sun!l5!laura		(that is ell-five, not fifteen)
> l5!laura@lll-crg.arpa

Laura, I applaud your efforts at honesty, but you are missing a very
important point.  "Sensitive and Caring == coward????"  Come on, Laura.
While I am familiar with the kind of sensitivity that is, in effect,
saying to the world, "I am sensitive, so you have to appreciate me and
take care of me because of my virtue and don't tell me any uncomfortable
truths about myself", you seem to be missing out on the kind of sensitivity
that says:

	"I am sensitive to your suffering, knowing myself that 
	things get pretty rough at times, and while I will never
	coddle you with sweet lies, I have compassion for you in
	your "real" difficulties, and I have compassion for the suffering
	brought on by your ignorance."

And then again, there is the kind of sensitivity and caring when
one has the COURAGE to reach out for other's help and sympathy,
but WITHOUT WANTING THE SWEET LIES.  This kind of sensitivity exposes one's
heart to the world, and I maintain that this takes a lot of courage.
My rule of thumb, then, is:

	Sensitive and caring is another word for very courageous,
	as long as honesty is maintained.

Perhaps the distinction is possible because I believe that honesty,
when not contaminated with judgement, is very caring.  Now, if I could 
only practice what I preach more often!