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From: djs@nbires.UUCP (D J Spalding)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: individuality (or lack thereof) <= men do it too
Message-ID: <554@nbires.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 2-Dec-85 01:21:19 EST
Article-I.D.: nbires.554
Posted: Mon Dec  2 01:21:19 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 5-Dec-85 04:35:02 EST
References: <285@whuts.UUCP> <533@oakhill.UUCP> <286@whuts.UUCP>
Organization: NBI,Inc, Boulder CO
Lines: 39

> In article <271@l5.uucp> laura@l5.UUCP (Laura Creighton) writes:
> >In article <550@nbires.UUCP> djs@nbires.UUCP (D J Spalding) writes:
> >>On a related topic, one thing I've noticed that a lot of women do is to
> >>try so hard to be the person that they think the man they're with wants
> >>them to be, that they never really *are* what he wants them to be, which
> >>is (if he's reasonable) just themselves.  Anyone else ever notice this?
> >
> >This disease is not confined to women.
> 
> It certainly isn't.  Fortunately, it's neither fatal nor incurable (but  it
> can be damn painful).


Okay, folks, I've gotten a few replies on my last message, so let me
set the record straight.  First I never said that this phenomenon was
limited only to women.  One of my net friends asked me why feminists
always assume that their insecurities are unique to women.  Well the
answer, as far as I can tell, is that they don't assume that at all.

I do need to add, however, that the so-called insecurities that lead
a person into this behavior often (but not always) manifest themselves
differently in men and women.  You'll rarely see a man say "Anything
you say dear" and MEAN it.  I have seen and heard of many women who
openly admit to becoming whatever they think their SO wants them to
be.  Men do it too, but they (generally) don't admit that that's
what they're doing.  This behavior is therefore more noticeable in
women because they're more open about it.

There, now I'm in *really* deep.   :-)

> -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
> The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe)
> Citicorp(+)TTI                    The more I work with C, the more I
> 3100 Ocean Park Blvd.             appreciate the simple elegance of
> Santa Monica, CA  90405           FORTRAN.
				    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
				    gasp, choke, wheeze!!!!
Diana
{allegra, ut-sally, ucbvax, hao}!nbires!djs