Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84 exptools; site ihuxf.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxn!ihnp4!ihuxf!features
From: features@ihuxf.UUCP (aMAZon)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: sensitivity
Message-ID: <2747@ihuxf.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 3-Dec-85 17:39:13 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxf.2747
Posted: Tue Dec  3 17:39:13 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 5-Dec-85 05:27:42 EST
References: <1933@zehntel.UUCP> <3850033@csd2.UUCP> <218@unirot.UUCP> <279@l5.uucp> <652@unc.unc.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 30

Cloyd Goodrum III writes:

> .... It's been my experience that
> you can't do a lot about your emotions by trying to do something about them.
> It's a lot like trying not to think about elephants. If someone tells you not
> to think about elephants, all you're going to be thinking about is elephants
> and how you're not supposed to think about them.
> 	Likewise, if you keep thinking "I shouldn't be depressed" or "I've
> got to stop being angry", more likely than not you'll think about your 
> depression or anger and whatever is causing it.
> 	So what do you do?? I've never found a better solution than just
> waiting. And while you're waiting, you should try not to nurse your negative
> emotion. That IS something you can take responsibility for. Instead of thinking
> about whatever's bothering you, think about C code or Elizabethan history
> or your favorite aunt or anything else you find interesting. You can't think
> about two things at once.

One other thing to do is to say the opposite of the behavior you're
trying to avoid.  Instead of saying "I'm NOT angry" (while turning
red around the ears with suppressed anger), you could say "I'm
calm and happy". 
	You could also acknowledge the feeling.  For example, instead
of saying "I'm not depressed, really", say "I'm sad now, and it
will be better in a little while."
	Either way is a more positive reinforcement than trying
to ignore a problem.
-- 

aMAZon @ AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL; ihnp4!ihuxf!features
					 *open to possibilities*