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From: hachiya@uiucuxc.CSO.UIUC.EDU
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: sensitivity
Message-ID: <105500024@uiucuxc>
Date: Tue, 3-Dec-85 10:01:00 EST
Article-I.D.: uiucuxc.105500024
Posted: Tue Dec  3 10:01:00 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 6-Dec-85 06:56:11 EST
References: <213@ihlpf.UUCP>
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Nf-ID: #R:ihlpf.UUCP:213:uiucuxc:105500024:000:1392
Nf-From: uiucuxc.CSO.UIUC.EDU!hachiya    Dec  3 09:01:00 1985


	I disagree with Pooh.  You do have to tell friends when they may be
doing something wrong.  That's what you are there for!  Not to
criticize, but to tell them in a nice way, that they are doing the
wrong thing.  I have a very close friend with whom I can tell anything
and vice-versa.  She told me that if she saw me screwing up, she would
tell me.  Even if it would make me mad, she would still say something.
I'm glad she would.  Sometimes you can't see what's going on in your
life and you need someone else to point it out to you.  Perhaps,
initially I would get upset, but after I've thought about it awhile,
I'd be grateful.  And because we are such good friends, I value her
opinions strongly.  Whatever she has to say is worth attending to.
    Our friendship has thrived because of our ability to be completely
open with each other.  Many times we'll call each other to validate our
thoughts and emotions.  That is the integral part of our relationship!
So, even if I don't ask for her opinion, I expect it.  Besides, I once
had a friend who would never tell me her opinion until I draggged it
out of her.   It drove me crazy!  I hate to ask someone all the time,
"Well, what do you think?"  Just because I get someone's else opinion,
it doesn't mean that I feel obligated to follow the advise given.  But
at least I'll have a more objective picture of a situation.



							Donna