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From: clark@grdian.DEC (Dave Clark, 283-6322)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: long aggravating jokes without punchlines
Message-ID: <1656@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 9-Dec-85 14:42:08 EST
Article-I.D.: decwrl.1656
Posted: Mon Dec  9 14:42:08 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 11-Dec-85 20:40:12 EST
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation
Lines: 45

> 	I was wondering if anyone out there in net.land could provide
> me with examples of those long excruciating kinds of jokes with
> no real punchline- well, perhaps I would do best by providing an
> example:
> .
> . (green golf ball joke)
> . 
> Ideal conditions for telling this kind of joke:  You are 12-14 years
> old and at summer camp.  It is 2 in the morning and everyone is talking
> instead of sleeping.  You tell the story skillfully enough to hold
> everyone's attention, but excruciatingly slowly, and with great detail,
> so that total telling time is 15-30min.  At the story's conclusion,
> everyone in the cabin beats you senseless with their pillows.
>  
> 			-Steve Shiue

I remember two from Boy Scout days....

1) A man returns home from a trip to find his house burned down and his wife
and children murdered.  He finds out that this is the work of the notorious
"Black Bart, the man with the black hat, the black shirt, the black pants,
black boots, and black underwear."  He goes on a long search for Black Bart,
where he repeatedly (in order to draw out the story to sufficiently aggravating
length) asks people "Have you seen Black Bart, the man with ...."  Eventually
he catches up to Black Bart, and asks him "Are you Black Bart ...."  Black
Bart answers yes, and the man replies "Don't you ever do that again!"

2) On Halloween night, three children are exploring a haunted house when they
hear a "rapping sound" coming from somewhere in the house.  The story is drawn
out by saying that the children hear a "rap, rap, rap," from location X in the
house - children 1 & 2 want to go check out the sound, and child 3 doesn't, but
eventually #1 and #2 convince #3 to go with them - so they move closer to the
source of the sound, which had fallen silent but then starts up again, and the
whole process repeats a horrible number of times until they eventually reach
location X.  Finally the story ends with the discovery that the source of the
sound is a box of wrapping paper.

And now a joke:

	Q:  What does Joan Collins put behind her ears to attract men?

	A:  Her ankles.

"Idiots at happy hour, they get it while they can,
 idiots at happy hour, where a man can be a man ...."