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From: tomfi@tekig4.UUCP (Tom Fitzpatrick)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: A Xmas Carol (kinda long)
Message-ID: <427@tekig4.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 10-Dec-85 21:11:47 EST
Article-I.D.: tekig4.427
Posted: Tue Dec 10 21:11:47 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 14-Dec-85 00:45:05 EST
Reply-To: tomfi@tekig4.UUCP (Tom Fitzpatrick)
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 57

< Merry Christmas! Line E...>

Hi Gang!
        In keeping with the spirit of the season (ie. commercialism) I
thought I'd post this Xmas Carol written by the immortal bard, Tom Lehrer:

Christmas time is here, by golly!
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say when.

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas day, you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to rob him all the more,
The other three-hundred and sixty four.

Relations sparing no expense 'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
"Just the thing I need. How nice."

It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heart-felt the spirit.
Sentiment will not endear it.
What's important is The Price.

Hark the Herald-Tribune sings
Advertising wondrous things.

God rest ye merry merchants may
Ye make the Yuletide pay.

Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy.

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle.
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle.

Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when the fly by.

                        Merry Christmas!
                        (or the appropriate Seasonal Greeting)

                        The Spitzer

--
                                                The Spitzer
                                                a.k.a.
                                                Tom Fitzpatrick
        "And another thing:
         Stop breathing in my cup!" -- B. Bunny