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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: the game of NEAR MISS
Message-ID: <2530@pucc-h>
Date: Sat, 14-Dec-85 23:06:05 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.2530
Posted: Sat Dec 14 23:06:05 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Dec-85 14:13:51 EST
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Lines: 31

This was posted on a "bulletin board"-type facility local to one of our
PUCC machines:

	While here, I discovered a new and exciting game called NEAR MISS.
It is played by persons afoot and abike, the object being a NEAR MISS with
passing automobiles.  The closer the miss comes, the higher the point score.
If an auto should hit the hoofer or biker as the case may be, s/he scores an
INSTANT WIN, with the obvious penalty of broken bike, limb, or what have you.
A double-edged sword that provides a Pyrrhic Victory only, not a coveted
Grand Hoopla Bigtime Total.

	The passing auto driver, however, has no way to really gain a
victory.  S/he must pilot the car through innumerable obstacles without
reward, other than the undented fender gained by expert swerving and
acceleration/deceleration combinations.  Playing the game, the DRIVER
gains ulcers, neck pains, back pains, and other slightly incapacitating
ailments.  These can lead to three outcomes.
   1) DRIVER goes HOME to rest and recuperate.  Rest heals the DRIVER of
      ailments over time, improving driving skill.
   2) Pain from the ailments makes DRIVER go WILD.  Players are in great
      peril of an INSTANT WIN from a WILD DRIVER.
   3) DRIVER, with insufficiently healed ailments, slumps over in the seat.
      This is now a ROGUE CAR, i.e., pilotless, and can turn on all players
      without warning.  Mostly indistinguishable from a WILD DRIVER, unless
      one looks behind the wheel.

	These rules have been garnered through a short term stint
playing the game from both sides.  I suspect that a longer time period
of participation/observation will be necessary before I can gain rule
colorations (Why did that one stand in the road with arms outstretched
as in sacrifice?) and deep strategy necessary for full enjoyment.