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From: jmr@motown.UUCP (John M. Ritter)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: writing wrules II
Message-ID: <153@motown.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 20-Dec-85 08:09:39 EST
Article-I.D.: motown.153
Posted: Fri Dec 20 08:09:39 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 21-Dec-85 05:00:10 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: Allied Corporation Tax Department, Morristown, NJ
Lines: 67

[ *** ]

> Written  2:43 pm  Dec 13, 1985 by aero.ARPA!berri */
>  ---------- "writing wrules" ----------
> 
>                         19 Rules for Good Riting
> o  Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
> o  Just between you and I case is important.
> o  Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
> o  Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped into our language.
> o  Don't use no double negatives.
> o  A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
> o  When dangling, don't use participles.
> o  Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
> o  Don't use a run on sentence you got to punctuate it.
> o  About sentence fragments.
> o  In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas
>    to keep a string of items apart.
> o  Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
> o  Its important to use apostrophe's right.
> o  Don't abbrev.
> o  Check to see if you any words out.
> o  In my opinion I think that an author when he is writing shouldn't get
>    into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words that he
>    does not really need.
> o  And, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end
>    a sentence with.
> o  Also, never obfuscate your documentation with pretentious, ostentatious
>    or histrionic language.
> o  Last but not least, lay off cliches.

To wit, I might add (let's get the complete list!) my "grammer" rules too!

                             Good Grammer
Subject and verb always has to agree.
When dangling, watch your participles
Do not use a foreign term when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
However, if you must use a foreign term, it is de rigor to spell it correctly.
It behooves the writer to avoid archaic expressions.
Do not use hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Mixed metaphors are a pain in the ass and ought to be thrown out the window.
Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.
Don't use tautological, repetitive or redundant statements.
Don't use tautological, repetitive or redundant statements.
Remember to never split an infinitive.
Puns are for children - not for readers who are groan.
The passive voice shouldn't be used.
Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Don't use no double negatives.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Avoid colloquial stuff.
No sentence fragments.
Remember to finish what you.
The subject of a sentence and the principal verb should not, as a rule, be
      separated by a phrase or clause that can be transferred to the beginning.

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"I enjoy working with humans, and have                          John M. Ritter
 stimulating relationships with them."               Allied-Signal Corporation
                            - HAL 9000                Corporate Tax Department
                      {bellcore,harpo,ihnp4,infopro,princeton,sys1}!motown!jmr
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