Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site trwrba.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!petrus!bellcore!decvax!ittatc!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!trwrb!trwrba!carlile From: carlile@trwrba.UUCP (Donald E. Carlile) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Shaggy Dog Message-ID: <1749@trwrba.UUCP> Date: Fri, 20-Dec-85 19:01:30 EST Article-I.D.: trwrba.1749 Posted: Fri Dec 20 19:01:30 1985 Date-Received: Sun, 22-Dec-85 01:15:05 EST Reply-To: carlile@trwrba.UUCP (Donald E. Carlile) Organization: TRW EDS, Redondo Beach, CA Lines: 70 Summary: The origin of Shaggy Dog Stories (A gift for the line eater) There has been a little controversy on the net about the nature of Shaggy Dog stories. One person, I forget who, suggested that in a Shaggy Dog story the punch line has nothing to do with the rest of the joke, and nothing to do with a pun! Nothing could be farther from the truth! A Shaggy Dog story is nothing but an excuse for a pun, the longer the story, the better. The grandaddy of Shaggy Dog stories, in fact where they get their name, is the following: Once upon a time, there lived a king in a great kingdom. Now it came to pass that a great plague struck the land. Not only did it affect most of the people of the country, it also brought low all of the horses. The situation was very grave when the king heard news of a cure in a neighboring country. He summoned his last healthy knight and told him to make preparations to journey to the other country and get help. The knight was in a quandry. He had to have a mount, but all the horses were ill. He searched through the castle, and finally found an old shaggy dog which was large enough to carry him and his gear. He mounted his shaggy steed and went to bid his king farewell. The king took one look at him and said "I can't send a knight out on a dog like that!" (moans and groans) Sorry to resurrect that old chesnut. As penance I will share one of my favorites from the genre. Once upon a time there was a tropical island with a beautiful lagoon. Every year a group of porpoises would return to the lagoon on their migration. Since they came every year, the inhabitants believed that they were immortal and could not die. One year, the island was plagued by a particularly large flock of sea gulls. The sea gulls were making a racket, eating the crops, and generally making life miserable for the poor villagers. Finally someone had a brilliant idea. They would trick the gulls into flying into a cave. The plan was accepted and they got to work. A path of grain was laid leading into the cave. Soon the sea gulls noticed the grain and began flying along the path, getting more and more excited and flying faster and faster. The sea gulls were flying so fast that they did not notice the cave. They flew into the cave at full speed, running into the wall. They were flying so fast that they ran into the wall of the cave, and were all killed instantly. This had worked better than the elders had hoped, but now they had all of these sea gulls to get rid of. If they just left them there, they would start to rot, and be a health hazard. Just then, a little boy came by with his wagon. The elders convinced him to pick up the sea gulls and take them to feed the porpoises. The porpoises, being immortal, would not be harmed by eating the birds. The little boy agreed, and went to get the first load. Just as he was coming down the path, two lions jumped out and threatened to eat the boy. Thinking quickly, the boy threw the first load of sea gulls at the lions. The lions, not really caring what they ate, ate up the sea gulls. After their meal, the lions fell asleep, and as you know, sleeping lions are very stately. When the boy returned, he found that the lions were sleeping on the path and he had to drag the wagon up over them to get past. As he did this, a state trooper jumped out and arrested him. Do you know why? Because it's against the law for boys to take gulls across stately lions for immortal porpoises. DISCLAIMER: Do you really think that my employer would have anything to do with this sort of nonsense?