Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site aoa.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!genrad!panda!talcott!harvard!bbnccv!bbncca!aoa!carl
From: carl@aoa.UUCP (Carl Witthoft)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: "Mine, mine, all mine" -- help
Message-ID: <385@aoa.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 2-Jan-86 08:41:48 EST
Article-I.D.: aoa.385
Posted: Thu Jan  2 08:41:48 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 3-Jan-86 05:21:58 EST
References: <32700036@hpfcla.UUCP> <363@ncr-sd.UUCP> <941@ihlpa.UUCP>
Reply-To: carl@aoa.UUCP (Carl Witthoft)
Organization: Adaptive Optics Assoc., Cambridge, Mass. USA
Lines: 30

In article <941@ihlpa.UUCP> ibyf@ihlpa.UUCP (Scott) writes:
>
>I only have two, fiarly close in age and the best thing I've come up with
>is when I hear them fighting over anything, I calmly walk over, take the
>object in question, walk to the garbage can (in sight of both of them) and
>deposit the offending item.  This may or may not be accompanied by something
>like. "Keep fighting and ALL your toys will be in the garbage."

May I ask what sort of lesson this teaches the kids? My reaction is that
they are taught one or more of the following:

1) They are not allowed to have differences or to try to settle said 
differences. Only the big strong (and mean) adults settle differences by
destructive means, i.e. elimination of a toy that is obviously precious
to both kids.
2) Anything they like is going to be taken away by the parents.
3) (a little more insidious) If one kid hates another, all he has to do
is start a fight over a toy the second kid loves, and BINGO the toy is gonzo,
with resultant pain of loss inflicted only on the second kid.

There has to be a better way to calm the kids than to steal from them. 
At least, just put the toy on a top shelf for the day (?)


Darwin's Dad ( Carl Witthoft @ Adaptive Optics Associates)
{decvax,linus,ihnp4,ima,wjh12,wanginst}!bbncca!aoa!carl
54 CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge,MA 02140
617-864-0201x356
"Selmer MarkVI, Otto Link 5*, and VanDoren Java Cut."