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From: dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby)
Newsgroups: net.misc
Subject: Re: "Nuclear Event Detector" (Really Scams)
Message-ID: <622@cylixd.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 24-Dec-85 12:06:27 EST
Article-I.D.: cylixd.622
Posted: Tue Dec 24 12:06:27 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 28-Dec-85 01:26:15 EST
References: <799@brl-tgr.ARPA> <67@ttidcc.UUCP>
Reply-To: dave@cylixd.UUCP (Dave Kirby)
Distribution: net
Organization: RCA Cylix Communications , Memphis, TN
Lines: 40

In article <67@ttidcc.UUCP> hollombe@ttidcc.UUCP (The Polymath) writes:

>What you have there is yet another variation on one of the oldest scams  in
>the  world.  The basic idea is to offer a product with a guarantee that the
>customer can't possibly collect on when the product  fails,  often  because
>they're dead or the company has long since gone out of business. (e.g.: "If
>this parachute fails to open return to manufacturer for a full refund.").
>
>Other variations abound.  Ever bought  a  pair  of  socks  with  a  5  year
>warranty?  When's  the  last time you kept a receipt for socks, or anything
>else, for 5 years?  Then there was the "lucky marriage rock" scam.  A woman
>buying  one  of  these stones ($10) was guaranteed to be married within the
>year or get a full refund...


Don't forget those caskets that are guaranteed for 20 years against
deterioration. Now who has ever dug one up 20 years later to find out?

My favourite scam was the "double-guarantee" that came with some diet
pills a few years ago. If you were not completely satisfied, just
write them and they would send you another month's supply ABSOLUTELY
FREE! In other words, if they turn out to be garbage, just write and
they'll send you more garbage at no extra charge.


I'm starting my own insurance company, and I would like to broadcast
my advertisement here. It's called "End-of-the-World" insurance. For
only $300/month, you can get insurance that will pay you $10,000/month,
paid DIRECTLY TO YOU, for the rest of your life, should the world come
to an end.

If you don't want insurance, I can also sell you a unique new product
I have developed. You've heard of bullet-proof vests? Well, I've got
the ultimate shield. Anti-nuke pills. You take one and it will protect
you from the effects of a nuclear blast if you are within 200 miles
of ground zero. If these pills should fail you at any time during a
nuclear blast, just send them back for a complete refund.

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Dave Kirby    ( ...!ihnp4!akgub!cylixd!dave)