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From: rrizzo@bbncca.ARPA (Ron Rizzo)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: I want/need emotions
Message-ID: <1658@bbncca.ARPA>
Date: Fri, 3-Jan-86 11:57:10 EST
Article-I.D.: bbncca.1658
Posted: Fri Jan  3 11:57:10 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 4-Jan-86 05:20:18 EST
References: <227@decwrl.DEC.COM>
Organization: Bolt, Beranek and Newman, Cambridge, Ma.
Lines: 26

Frankly, I think this description of emotional inhibition applies to gay
men as well, though maybe with lesser force for some.  It can be seen
in a lot of behavior in public (bars, social events, meetings, etc.)
and private (please fill in here).  More importantly, it goes deeper
than surface conduct and affects things that underlie personalities
(basic attitudes, drives, potentials):  I think many of the manifold
problems that typically affect/afflict gay male relationships, parti-
cularly intimate ones, ultimately stem from the constraints of the
male version of gender role, ie, a gay male relationship is problematic
precisely because men are difficult to relate to.  Period.  You all
know of gay male friends who at various points in their lives have opted
to live or primarily associate with a woman (women).  These relationships
often are fairly intense emotionally, and even sexual.  While the most
often cited justification for them may be to be temporarily free of the
sexual tension and conflict generated by the company of other gay males,
I think an equally (more?) important reason is to lessen the difficulty
of achieving emotional intimacy by choosing a partner (female) much more
adept at intimacy and emotional expression.

And I don't think that even a ferocious adoption of androgyny, drag,
gender fuck, etc. necessarily frees an individual of the strongest
constraints of the male role.  It goes much deeper than mere "acting
out."  Certainly simply being PC won't do the trick, either.

						Cheers,
						Ron Rizzo