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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!mmm!cipher
From: cipher@mmm.UUCP (Andre Guirard)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Minnehaha (episode 2)
Message-ID: <407@mmm.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 14-Jan-86 18:16:20 EST
Article-I.D.: mmm.407
Posted: Tue Jan 14 18:16:20 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 17-Jan-86 03:09:25 EST
Reply-To: cipher@mmm.UUCP (Andre Guirard)
Organization: 3M Company, St. Paul, Minn.
Lines: 57
Summary: In which Father Hennepin discovers the Secret of the Orrid Nast


The story so far:
   The East Indies explorer Hiawatha discovered an island, which he
named Minnehaha after his girlfriend back in the States.  Later, he
settled down in Hong Kong.  It is not known what became of his
girlfriend.


Some time later, in the jungles of Brazil, Father "Butch" Hennepin was
having lunch with Fred, the high Booga-Loo of the Yonkers.  The Yonker
Indians were previously known as the "Lost Tribe", but when Father
Hennepin found them they were no longer lost.  "Yonker" in the tribal
language means, "small plant which makes much fruit," and the Yonker
tribe was named after a grapefruit bush which grew in the center of the
village.
   As they were polishing off the last of the pigeon cassarole, Fred
happened to mention in passing that near the Yonker village, twenty
blocks to the south and behind a marble fountain, could be found a
marvelous tree in which the fabulous Tooly bird made its home.  The
Tooly, actually a sort of winged reptile, was reputed to have the power
of prophesy.  Father Hennepin was intrigued, and so, taking with him a
crowd of Yonker men to carry his luggage and a Yonker woman named Suey
for entertainment, he started off on the arduous journey.
   Soon they came across the fountain.  The Yonkers took a ritual
drink, but Father Hennepin feared the water unsanitary and so just
wiggled his fingers in it.  The Tooly's tree was truly marvelous, about
three hundred feet tall and bright red.  But the tree paled beside the
rainbow splendor of the Tooly, which sat on a low branch, eating
something small and furry.
   "O Wonderous Tooly," Father Hennepin began.
   The Tooly regarded him coolly, swallowing the last of its grisly
meal.  "What do YOU want?" it croaked.
   "I entreat you to tell me where can be found the Orrid Nast, that
famous sapphire described in the tale of Hod-Acre the Polluted and
his dog Spot."
   The Tooly stared for a moment more before answering.  "Seek the isle
of Minnehaha and the tomb of the Sacred Lily," it grated.  "Beneath the
tomb are the Catacombs of Justice, wherein can be found the Orrid Nast.
But beware!  The jewel is guarded by the fanatic hordes of the Eagle
Claw Tong, who would rather fight than switch!"
   The explorer thanked the creature and gave it for its trouble a t-shirt
reading, "My grandmother went to Florida and all I got was this crummy
shirt," which it devoured eagerly.  Then he sent the Yonkers home, all
except Suey.  "Good chaps," he murmered.  "Good sports."
   Suey and Father Hennepin then proceeded to the nearest seaport,
where they caught the first boat to London.  As they leaned on the
railing beside a sign reading, "Britain or Bust," watching the shore
recede, Father Hennepin tried not to think about kangaroos.

NEXT:  CLOCKS OF DOOM.

-- 

  /'C`\	 TWALG ASHALC RITMOHF.			Andre Guirard
 ( o_o )					Choice of the Haughty
 )) _ (( AWSWG SWVVG BWSWBSWH!			ihnp4!mmm!cipher
///   \\\