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From: ix742@sdcc6.UUCP (James Hayes)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: Airline acronyms
Message-ID: <2383@sdcc6.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 21-Jan-86 03:24:30 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcc6.2383
Posted: Tue Jan 21 03:24:30 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 23-Jan-86 20:56:30 EST
References: <1374@garfield.columbia.edu>
Reply-To: ix742@sdcc6.UUCP (James Hayes)
Distribution: net
Organization: UC San Diego EE/CS Department.
Lines: 55
Keywords: Connecticut

kearns@garfield.columbia.edu (Steve Kearns) writes in article
<1374@garfield.columbia.edu>:

>PEOPLE'S DEPRESS
>
>(once a plane I was taking from Newark was two hours late in leaving!!
>The reason?  A flat tire!)

Let me share my experience with Cattle Express:

$3.00 to check-in each back of luggage. (CASH ONLY!)

The headphones were free, except for the $3.00 adapter that let me
plug them in.  (CASH ONLY!)

The "Customer Service Manager" as it liked to be called woke
me up and asked me what I wanted to eat.  Here's what it sounded
like:

CSM:  "Would you like something to eat?"
Me:   (Having not eaten for 12 hours) "YES!"
CSM:  "Turkey or Corned Beef?"
Me:   "Turkey please."
(A minute passes.)
CSM:  "Here you are."
(An odd and uncomfortable moment passes as I look at what they
mistakenly call turkey.  I looked at it again, and risked a bite.  And
then out of nowhere, I see a hand in my face.)
CSM:  "Six fifty please." (CASH ONLY!)


When we finally landed 1 AM,  one of the belts had broken while off
loading luggage.  So we waited. And waited, and waited...  Finally,
one of the passengers started off-loading luggage.  The CSM didn't
seem to mind, and then (out of thin air) it started yelling.  STOP
THAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF THAT!  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

I was expecting it to charge him $3.00 for un-passenger like
conduct with an extra $3.00 for de-plaining without the permission
of the CSM. (CASH ONLY!)

Could it be that Peoples Distress is actually a planned disaster
owned by TWA or PSA to purposly brainwash people to never risk flying
cheap airlines again.  If so, it worked with me.


--
					Jim Hayes
					UCSD EE/CS Department

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