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From: slb@drutx.UUCP (Sue Brezden)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Kid won't eat
Message-ID: <354@drutx.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 24-Jan-86 10:04:13 EST
Article-I.D.: drutx.354
Posted: Fri Jan 24 10:04:13 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 25-Jan-86 08:06:43 EST
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver
Lines: 61


I thought all kids did this at some time.  Some do it early, and then
some (maybe the same ones) go through a similar period in teenage when
nothing but pizza and hamburgers will do.  Both my daughters went through 
this both times.  I'm not sure my advice is worth anything--because they 
are still in it.  (They are 12 and 18.)  No one in my family likes what 
anyone else likes.  My husband and I love Chinese food--the 12 year old
hates it, but loves broccoli, which the 18 year old can't stand, and so
on.

My reaction was to throw up my hands, decide that the kid would 
probably not starve to death willingly, and buy some vitamins.  The
vitamins were for my peace of mind as much as anything else--I won't
have to explain to my doctor why my child has beri-beri.

My attitude is:  "I fix something for dinner.  If you don't like it,
fine, you don't have to eat it.  But I won't fix anything else just for
you.  I do require that if you have not tasted something in a year, that 
you take a taste to make sure that your taste buds haven't altered and you 
now like it.  (The children screamed at that one at first, but after a few 
incidents of discovering something wonderful that they thought they hated,
they agreed that this happens.)  If you are old enough to open the fridge,
and want to fix something for yourself to eat instead, fine."

I try to alternate--fix something one person likes one night, and
something for someone else another night.  I try to keep healthy
snacks about like apples and granola bars and peanut butter.  I also 
use this method on my husband, who is just as picky. (He won't eat beef, 
egg yolks, tomato sauce--none of these for health reasons, just taste.
Of course, the girls love anything with hamburger and tomato sauce.:-)
I often just declare snack nights--when everyone fixes whatever they
want for themselves.

This may be a bad method, because we seldom sit down to dinner (this
came about for other reasons, too--trying to get all 4 of us in one
place at one time is a pain.  You will hit this problem when your
young ones get older and have their own activities.)  But I have other 
things to worry about.  My mother thinks I am crazy and a bad mother for 
not supervising every bite that goes into their mouths.  (She used to
fix 3 large meals a day and make us clean up our plates--something I
suspect hasn't helped my weight problem.)  But on the good side, everyone 
in the family has learned to cook on their own.  And I get fewer ulcers.

I guess my main advice is to find something that is comfortable for you.
If you feel bad with yourself if the child doesn't eat a balanced meal,
then you may want to force them.  (It's always been my feeling that
it is not so much *what* is done to the child, as how good the parents
feel about it--we all have our parenting style.  Note this goes out
the window for true abuse and neglect!)

Sorry to make this so long.  Just a ramblin' person today.
-- 

                                     Sue Brezden
                                     ihnp4!drutx!slb

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      To search for perfection is all very well,
      But to look for heaven is to live here in hell.   
                                       --Sting
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