Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site isl1.ri.cmu.edu
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!rochester!pt.cs.cmu.edu!isl1.ri.cmu.edu!cycy
From: cycy@isl1.ri.cmu.edu (Christopher Young)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Dating?
Message-ID: <221@isl1.ri.cmu.edu>
Date: Wed, 8-Jan-86 19:18:31 EST
Article-I.D.: isl1.221
Posted: Wed Jan  8 19:18:31 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 10-Jan-86 05:43:42 EST
References: <267@decwrl.DEC.COM>
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI
Lines: 33

I'm writing this in response to the question of gay dating. Personally, I've
dated men (until I met my mate) and feel it is the best and most logical way
to proceed in a relationship that might take a romantic direction. I really
never got a bad reaction from anybody, but I think Sacramento is more oriented
to that type of thing than larger, more highly populated areas (I just moved
to Pittsburgh; I'm not from here).

In answer to the first question, I don't think anybody should have to apologise
if they wish to date. For that matter, why should anybody apologise for how he
(or she) runs his social life as long as he doesn't hurt anybody else? 
Especially if the constraints are upon oneself. I found a lot of people used to
make me feel guilty about not going to bed with them. Then I realised, what the
hell should I feel guilty about that for? They don't need me for that, and I
have no obligation to them in that regard. So I did what I thought was right,
and if they didn't like it, tough. That was their problem, not mine. But those
who were truely my friends remained so. And it's only silly if you choose it
to be so.

As far as when an intimate relationship should begin, I would say it depends
upon the two individuals involved, and what your goals are. There is
nothing wrong with discussing the issue; it can save a whole lot of confusion.
Discuss your feelings, how you feel about each other. Nothing is 100% certain,
after all. When you both feel the time is really right (based on more than
horneyness) then it undoubtedly will be.

I'm glad this was brought up. For a while, I thought I was the only one who
thought dating was a good idea. I used to hear all this junk about how only
heterosexuals date and we can't/shouldn't do what they do. I think that's
bull. Besides, the attitude that "just because they do it, it's wrong" doesn't
hold water. It's like them saying something similar about us. I'm curious
About what other people think.

				Chris.