Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 4.3bsd-beta 6/6/85; site unirot.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!decwrl!amdcad!lll-crg!caip!unirot!pooh
From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: sensitivity
Message-ID: <276@unirot.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 7-Jan-86 10:25:51 EST
Article-I.D.: unirot.276
Posted: Tue Jan  7 10:25:51 1986
Date-Received: Wed, 8-Jan-86 20:22:45 EST
References: <14145@rochester.UUCP> <1849@uwmacc.UUCP>
Reply-To: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Organization: The Soup Kitchen, Piscataway NJ
Lines: 50

> = Ray
>> = me

>>I'm not sure whether you can accuse someone of trying to make
>>you as miserable as he is.  Does anyone go around with that conscious
>>intention?
>
>	Actually I have encountered many people whose attitude towards
>others is:  "Well, I am an unhappy person who is not getting what
>I want out of life so I am going to try to ruin everyone else's
>happiness by swamping them with stories of my own misery, criticizing
>and denigrating any successes that they may have, continually reminding
>them of how it is impossible to be happy, etc. etc."  Have you ever
>(for instance) told a friend about a date you had that you really enjoyed
>and the *first* thing that they could think of to say was something
>like:  "Just you wait.  All men are the same.  He'll lead you on and
>use you and then toss you away."  The most reasonable conclusion that I
>can draw from statements like this is that this person does not want
>you to derive any pleasure from your experience.  This certainly does
>NOT take away from the friend who says:  "Gee, he sounds like a really
>nice guy.  I hope that both of you continue to have a good time."

Well, again, I don't think you could go up to someone and say,
"You're trying to make me as miserable as you are, aren't you?"
and have him say, "Yes!"

But you're right--that does happen.  I find, though, that it really
takes the wind out of his sails to smile happily and say, "Oh,
nonsense!"  (I did this often with a good friend who is a confirmed
wet blanket.  I still do it.  It seems to work.)  

>	As usual, we have another "black and white" style argument.  By
>this I mean that we are trying to look at an issue in a very limited number
>of ways. 
>Since there are
>always going to be other facets to the argument some rabid-minded
>individual(s) is(are) going to react in a knee-jerk fashion and flame
>left, right and centre.  (I'm not accusing you of this, Pooh).

Yes, you are!!  And you're WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! :-)

Well, if you try to examine all possible facets of an argument,
you're going to come out looking pretty wishy-washy and you won't
make your own point too well.  Being reasonable dulls the rhetoric. :-)

Cheers,
Pooh          topaz!unipress!pooh
              topaz!unirot!pooh

"Okay, I'll pick you up at ten and enrage you."