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From: kort@hounx.UUCP (B.KORT)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: responsibility, sensitivity, (actually "Depression")
Message-ID: <482@hounx.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 11-Jan-86 23:30:52 EST
Article-I.D.: hounx.482
Posted: Sat Jan 11 23:30:52 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 14-Jan-86 04:39:46 EST
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
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To: gamma!tll

Couldn't reply directly, so I'm posting a reply to the net....


	Date: Fri, 10 Jan 86 11:06:21 est
	From: ulysses!blade!gamma!tll (Trudy L Leonhard)
	To: sabre!zeta!epsilon!gamma!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!hounx!kort
	Subject: Re: responsibility, sensitivity, (actually "Depression")
	References: <2338@pyuxd.UUCP>, <26600151@uiucdcs>, <467@hounx.UUCP>
	
	You know, now that you mention it, the only times I've been what I'd
	call truly depressed is when reality let me down. But it's a little
	more than that. Reality lets me down a lot. It's when it is so
	overwhelming that I lose hope that things will get better in the
	future (i.e. "things didn't work out this time but there's always
	tomorrow ") that I get depressed. Does that hold true with you?
	I enjoyed your article.
	Trudy
	
	
	
Thanks for the response, Trudy.  I think that from time to time we
have an overly idealized view of how things should be.  We expect
things to be sensible and fair and rational, and sometimes bad things
just happen which are beyond our control.  When such events are
unexpected or inexplicable, we have to come to terms with the fact
that they happened.  I think the story of Job in the Old Testament
is a good example of bad things happening without rhyme or reason.
Harold Kushner's sensitive book, _When Bad Things Happen to Good
People_ is a modern reflection of this age old story.  One can
take solace that one is not alone, that no one is "out to get you."
It's just a combination of chance and ignorance.  I think the depression
is just one aspect of the mind doing what it has to do: build accurate
models of the environment which the self can use to select safe pathways
through life which lead to fulfillment.

In the Chinese language, the ideagram for "crisis" is a combination
of two simpler symbols, one meaning "danger" and one meaning "chance"
or "opportunity".   Every crisis brings with it a chance to experience
a novel element of life, and to overcome yet another obstacle.  To
weather a crisis with grace and dignity makes one a stronger wiser
person.  

When reality doesn't conform to our expectations, we have just
a few options.  One can accept reality on its terms and adapt.
One can escape to a different environment where the reality is
more to our liking.  Or one can attempt to change the world either
through affect (e.g. complaining) or effect (e.g. building something
better).  But there are many dragons to slay and one must choose
his battles carefully, because it takes enormous energy to make
even a small change in the world around us.  It takes even more
energy to make a change in ourselves.

I hope that your bouts of depression end as you realize that there
is growth through periods of pain, and that on balance it is a
healthy process to see the world with clear vision and find the
opportunities for working toward mutual betterment.  The only
faith you need is that the opportunities exist for you to
discover them.

Peace.

--Barry