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From: woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: responsibility, sensitivity, (actually "Depression")
Message-ID: <1908@hao.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 13-Jan-86 14:21:29 EST
Article-I.D.: hao.1908
Posted: Mon Jan 13 14:21:29 1986
Date-Received: Wed, 15-Jan-86 08:19:10 EST
References: <2338@pyuxd.UUCP>, <26600151@uiucdcs> <467@hounx.UUCP>
Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO
Lines: 21

> I have been profoundly depressed exactly three times in my life.  In
> each case it followed an episode in which I got in touch
> with reality, and reality turned out to fall short of my
> expectations of it.  The painful process of coming to terms
> with reality, and adjusting one's mental set to model reality
> as it really is (and not how we wished or expected it to be)
> can be very depressing. 

  This is quite illuminating. Another way of looking at this is, what you
are doing is COMPARING reality to your expectation. When reality falls short
of the expectation, you make a negative judgment about reality. It is this
negative judgment that causes depression (i.e. "the world stinks"). This can
happen in particular episodes as well. Take a breakup (a popular topic in this
group :-). Why does it depress you? Because you are comparing the current
reality (the one without your former SO) to one you WISH existed (the former
one that HAD your SO). If you maintain an awareness of these comparisons you
are making and try to minimize them, you will be less depressed and less often.
You have to ACCEPT reality as it is. Putting energy into wishing it were some
other way than it is leads to feeling rotten.

--Greg