Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site cca.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!mit-eddie!genrad!decvax!cca!jack From: jack@cca.UUCP (Jack Orenstein) Newsgroups: net.jobs,net.singles Subject: Headhunters, hearthunters. Message-ID: <5662@cca.UUCP> Date: Thu, 16-Jan-86 12:15:37 EST Article-I.D.: cca.5662 Posted: Thu Jan 16 12:15:37 1986 Date-Received: Sat, 18-Jan-86 01:14:47 EST Organization: Computer Corp. of America, Cambridge Lines: 58 Xref: watmath net.jobs:1766 net.singles:9990 I believe this is the first posting relevant to net.singles and net.jobs. It started out as a comment on the headhunter discussion in net.jobs and took off in another direction - being "fixed up". I haven't seen any discussion of this in net.singles. Let's avoid offending certain people who get upset by mis-categorized postings: if you're going to talk only about headhunters, post to net.jobs. If you're going to talk only about being "fixed up", post to net.singles. There - I've done my duty. Here goes. When I was looking for my current job I used the services of about three headhunters. I contacted them directly; I was also contacted by other headhunters - I believe that they trade resumes. On the whole, I was very pleased with their work. They found some excellent companies that I wouldn't have thought of. For the most part, they listened to me and did not suggest companies that did not meet my requirements. There were only a couple of turkeys among the phone calls or interviews they set up. I don't envy the job of these recruiters. They seem to have very high-stress jobs. They have no control over what happens after they match up a job-hunter and a company. They can only sit and wait and hope for the best and eat antacid. Some people have an aversion to headhunters. I think it's the "Jewish Mother Syndrome". My mother (yes, she's Jewish) would love to find me a "nice Jewish girl". She would love to get all my friends "fixed up" too. We all resist these attempts. There are various reasons given: "I can find someone on my own", "what's wrong with her if she has to have her mother fix her up", (there's a women's version of this one of course), "what's wrong with ME if my mother has to fix me up", "I just don't like blind dates", etc. I think that all of these are applicable to the headhunter situation. Okay, so I'm inconsistent. All of these reasons have entered my mind at one time or another when someone was trying to do me a favor. Yet I gladly used the services of these headhunters, reasoning as follows: It couldn't hurt; at most I spend one day with these people and then say goodbye. Of course, when someone tries to set me up with someone and I refuse, this same counter-argument is thrown right in my face. Enough analysis. What finally happened was that I took a job at a place I contacted on my own. My mother says she's given up trying but her sister has started working on me. The questions are: what are the differences between these two situations? Why might someone be willing to be fixed up for a job but not for a date (or vice versa)? How do you handle a relative who tries to fix you up? (I may post my own strategy at some time - it requires a relative with a sense of humor.) My experience is that my mother and aunts get into this sort of stuff. My father doesn't and my uncles don't. (Although Uncle Ben DID say, "go ahead, call her up, make your aunt happy".) Have other people noticed this? Any explanations? Jack Orenstein This is not a disclaimer.