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From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Mid-Life Crisis (really relationships)
Message-ID: <289@unirot.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 21-Jan-86 12:50:40 EST
Article-I.D.: unirot.289
Posted: Tue Jan 21 12:50:40 1986
Date-Received: Wed, 22-Jan-86 02:20:32 EST
References: <481@ssc-vax.UUCP> <4170@mhuxd.UUCP>
Reply-To: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
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Organization: The Soup Kitchen, Piscataway NJ
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In article <4170@mhuxd.UUCP> amc@mhuxd.UUCP (Andy Cohill) writes:
>> Is it possible that we young professionals are so wrapped up in
>> our careers, material things, and our work so as to neglect what is really 
>> important? (this is a rhetorical question) > -----
>> Glen Fujimori	

Okay, I'd like to ask Glenn:  "neglect what is really important"?
It sounds as though you're implying that careers, material things
and work are NOT really important.  Obviously they are to those
people who are wrapped up in them.

(Andy):
>The answer is a resounding "YES!" Nearly everysingle woman I know
>well (all in their mid to late thirties) is struggling with whether
>to put family or career first.  I have to report that careers are
>winning, by at least two to one (about ten women in the sample).
>Those that have chosen to start a family are trying to have a career
>at the same time. Not a single one has decided to stay home. 

Now, I'm not in the same age group as your friends, Andy.  I feel
that I still have plenty of time to work on a career, buy material
things :-), and whatnot, before I settle down and raise cubs.
But if and when I do that, I know that I can start another career
after they're grown; my own mother did that.  I don't believe that
you have one (1) chance at a career and that having a family is
going to blow it forever.

>To keep
>the foam-at-the-mouth feminists happy, none of the men in these
>relationships has offered to stay home, either (something I would be
>willing to do, were I in that situation).

Does that include staying home with the dog? :-)

>Fact is, it is hard to meet women who even want a family. They all
>want a career. Nothing wrong with that, except I tend to agree with
>Glen. Boy, are these ladies going to be an unhappy bunch in about
>twenty years. (Now I am going to get flamed). Some of my best women
>friends categorically refuse even to "date", or whatever we call it
>these days, preferring to concentrate on their career instead.

They're making a choice.  It's not one I would make; I have trouble
saying "no" to a nice man who comes along.   But I don't think your
friends are going to be any more unhappy than a man who chooses the
same thing--to forsake ALL relationships for the sake of a career.
Personally, I wouldn't see the case as black and white--EITHER you
have a satisfying personal life (whether that entails raising children
or not) OR you drive yourself to achieve the ultimate in careers.
I think it's more telling that people these days are pushing themselves
so hard that nothing but the top will suffice.


Pooh              topaz!unipress!pooh
                  topaz!unirot!pooh

Every day I write the book. . .