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From: booter@lll-crg.ARpA (Elaine Richards)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Mid-Life Crisis (really relationships)
Message-ID: <1197@lll-crg.ARpA>
Date: Wed, 22-Jan-86 03:17:07 EST
Article-I.D.: lll-crg.1197
Posted: Wed Jan 22 03:17:07 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 23-Jan-86 02:56:11 EST
References: <481@ssc-vax.UUCP> <4170@mhuxd.UUCP>
Reply-To: booter@lll-crg.UUCP (Elaine Richards)
Distribution: na
Organization: Cadillac Ranch, Oakland
Lines: 62

In article <4170@mhuxd.UUCP> amc@mhuxd.UUCP (Andy Cohill) writes:
>> [Glen Fujimori ponders the current materialistic state of affairs}
>
>[Andy Cohill notes that every thirtyish woman he knows is dealing
>with the choice of career or family and observes no one will stay
>home with the little buggers.]
>at the same time. Not a single one has decided to stay home. To keep
>the foam-at-the-mouth feminists happy, none of the men in these
     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I had to pause to snicker. And foam. Actually, I froth.

>relationships has offered to stay home, either (something I would be
>willing to do, were I in that situation.
Good for you honey! I respect that.

>
>Fact is, it is hard to meet women who even want a family. They all
>want a career. Nothing wrong with that, except I tend to agree with
>Glen. Boy, are these ladies going to be an unhappy bunch in about
>twenty years. 

Well, Andy. Not everyone is suited to be a parent. In the 50's it was
the thing to do and there are many psychiatrists with booming practices
trying to help people cope with their pasts. My sister is the Ideal
Mother. She is smart, caring and laughs when her boys put on airs. She
chose to be a mom. The previous generation was oppressed, not well
informed and thought a 3 year old's insurrection was a genuine POWER
STRUGGLE. I know that I worry too much (at this stage in my life) to be
a calm and rational parent{_.

I have, as an academic question,  asked men if they'd stay home with the
kids. Not one yes. I posed conditions of wife is a millionare and man is
unemployed. Still no. 

My old Brooklyn girlfriends are raising babies and not working. Ever raise
an infant in a one bedroom flat? A gal has to work to get enough space to
raise a family. The locksmith and washer repairman who are the loving dads
in the above case do not make the money for the house, let alone a 2 bed-
room place.

I have dated and just plain met loads of men. I have met three who thought
marriage was nice and...get this...ONE!! only ONE!!! who flat out said,
"Dammit, I want a wife and a family". (I hope he gets one too. He'd be a
great dad.) Most get on soapboxes and say they don't want either. I don't
respect that. You never know what's up. Often, a person will say s/he
doesn't want kids to avoid scaring off potential lovers. (Tell a 38 year
old woman you want kids. It translates to *RIGHT NOW*. She has little time
to decide). Often love will change the negativity. A friend refers to it
as "baby fever". ( I call it the Pon Farr :-))

I won't mention the women I met whose husbands skipped child support.
My view is that I will always have the job skills. If the clock runs out,
it isnt worth wasting tears. I can love up anyone's kids anytime. If
I don't have them, my nephews will have the best college education their
weird old auntie can get them. If I do have them, oi! I'll worry
("Put on that raincoat!!!")

Chin up, guys. The Mother to Your Babes is out there. Just make her love
you and STICK AROUND!!

E
*****