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From: cheryl@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU (cheryl)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Career vs. Relationship?
Message-ID: <178@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU>
Date: Thu, 23-Jan-86 18:11:37 EST
Article-I.D.: batcompu.178
Posted: Thu Jan 23 18:11:37 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 25-Jan-86 04:19:57 EST
References: <481@ssc-vax.UUCP> <2340@reed.UUCP> <2341@reed.UUCP> <1350@ames.UUCP> <2785@ihuxf.UUCP>
Reply-To: cheryl@batcomputer.UUCP ()
Distribution: na
Organization: Theory Center, Cornell University, Ithaca NY
Lines: 59

In article <2785@ihuxf.UUCP> features@ihuxf.UUCP (aMAZon) writes:
>Kenn Barry (in response to Ellen Eades in response to Ann Muir Thomas)
>writes:
>
>>.... I apologize if I misinterpret, but when you speak of "turning the
>>tables", you make it sound as though one of the reasons for your present plans
>>is a desire to "win" in some sort of contest against men. If so, this seems
>>less an escape from society's sexist attitudes, than a reaction to them that
>>still pays homage to society's preconceptions of male/female roles. Anger at
>>sexism is useful in pursuit of political goals, but it only gets in the way
>>when making personal decisions like career vs. relationships. Being free
>>of these sexist stereotypes means more than being able to flaunt them; it

	First of all, the word you want is "flaut", not "flaunt".

	A reaction against sexism in any context is always correct,
	because sexism is always wrong.  Sexism is just as bad as
	racism.  Would you say that, in a personal relationship,
	a black man should be subservient to a white man, even
	though black men are now not to be discriminated against
	professionally?  Would you say that a black man should confine
	his anger at racism to the political arena, and not try
	to counteract racism when he encounters it at the drinking
	fountain, or on the bus, or when taking a white woman out
	on a date?  He should just realize that it's a "personal
	decision", and that he should make the decision that doesn't
	get his own self beat up, huh?

 	It is important that people defend their principles,
	not for their own happiness, but for the common good.
	We should work actively to stamp out sexism, even if
	it means making decisions which make us personally lonely
	or unhappy--just for the sake of helping destroy harmful
	stereotypes.  Building a catwalk over a trash heap so
	a few people can "rise above it" doesn't clean up the
	trash, baby.

	What you are proposing is that women only take their own
	"happiness" into account when deciding between a career and
	a relationship, not their principles or deeply held 
	beliefs.  Such a decision is NOT a "personal" decision,
	it is a professional decision, because it directly involves
	the health of a career.  It is also a political decision,
	because one person's actions and attitudes influence a
	LOT of people.  And a LOT of people makes a constituency
	for political action.  

>>you in any direction. The courage to step out of one's defined role is only
>>the first step. Real freedom is the ability to live one's life in complete
>>indifference to these stereotypes, to be neither attracted nor repelled by the
>> fact that some given type of behavior is "appropriate" to your sex.

	Honey, I work my butt off every day to climb out
	of the sexist trash that's thrown at me, and I'll
	be damned if I just let that trash sit there for 
	some other poor woman to walk through.


Cheryl again