Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ttidcb.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!bellcore!decvax!linus!philabs!ttidca!ttidcb!bellas From: bellas@ttidcb.UUCP (Pete Bellas) Newsgroups: net.auto Subject: Re: List of Drivers to Avoid (WARNING - long) Message-ID: <673@ttidcb.UUCP> Date: Wed, 5-Feb-86 19:10:56 EST Article-I.D.: ttidcb.673 Posted: Wed Feb 5 19:10:56 1986 Date-Received: Sun, 9-Feb-86 04:45:48 EST References: <730@cylixd.UUCP> <400@drutx.UUCP> <114@mp-dixie.UUCP> <385@watmum.UUCP> <206@druhi.UUCP> Reply-To: bellas@ttidcb.UUCP (Pete Bellas) Organization: Transaction Technology, Inc. (CitiCorp), Santa Monica Lines: 159 All this talk about avoiding cars that are driven by red-necks or men with hats is fine, but the type of car alone is often enough to determine the driving technique. A list of the most obvious ones follows, feel free to add your own observations. BMWs - This is the easiest to spot and best to avoid. These are people that for most part could not afford BMWs so they put off buying a house. Because of this driving is the only thing they can do. They generally change lanes a lot and want to demonstrate their cars excellent stopping system by cutting in front of you and applying the brakes "fully". Note: owners of the outragously priced 6 and 7 series rarely display the above actions as they also have a house in addition to a car. Porshes - If ever there was a stereotype for obnoxious drivers, this is it. They feel that onramps and emergency parking lanes are made for passing. They take pride in the fact that there cars need to be tuned bi-weekly and do not run well below 4,000 rpms (this explains why they always drive in first gear). This applys to ordinary Porshes, 911, 912, 924, 944 and 928 (the 928 should be out of the ordinary class due to shear price, but shear ugliness dropped it back). Yuppie-mobiles - You know these, Saabs, Volvos and Puegoets (plus many others of equal obscurity). These are the people that believe all the advertising hype about prestige and performance (they obviously believed it, they bought the car) and spend their time parading around the roads trying to impress others with their prestige, or careening around the roads trying to impress other with non-existent performance. Land-Yachts - Sedan deVilles, Chrysler Imperials, Buick Electras, etc. These are the cars that come with a pink-slip and a right-of-way card. The owners remove the mirrors because they only need to look forward and the turn signal lever because it makes the car go neither faster nor slower (an obviously unnecessary apendage). These are the hardest because you really should avoid them regardless of where they are. Exotics - Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Turbo Carreras, etc. You can't miss these ones, they won't let you. These people spent so much money on their cars that they feel cheated if less that 50% of the pop- ulation has seen them. To this end they are constantly passing, changing lanes (to the wrong one), brakeing violently and accelerating wildly. As a result you usually get to see them at least 3 or 4 times on any given commute. As a side note on the open road you rarely see more than their tail lights unless you monitor your mirrors (after all these are actually performance cars). Pseudo Sports Cars - 300zx, RX7, Supra, etc. These are people that have really fooled themselves. They have a lot in common with the yuppie-mobiles, yet they rarely display the antics usually associated with sports cars. They think of their cars as "awesome" and "incredible" driving machines (and often tell you so), but in reallity they prefer to park them (always taking two spaces) and let juviniles drool over them. Muscle Cars - Late 60's, early 70's Cameros, Mustangs, Chargers, etc. These people are usually not too bad, having burned out their obnoxious driving habits some 15 years ago. However they have been known to revert when provoked. Provocation comes for the most part from the catagory of Psuedo Sports Cars and the results can be devastating. If you see a provoked Muscle Car driver, get off the road immediately, their idea of high performance driving came from watching movies like Bullet and The French Connection. Micro Cars - Small Datsuns, Toyotas, Hondas, etc. These people have the incredible notion that their cars are only two dimensional, thereby allowing them to fit into any space, both when changing lanes and parking. Since they are economy minded they alway perform lane changes two or three at a time. They love to travel the speed limit in the left hand lane ("If they want to break the law they will have to pass me on the right") and alway brake for animals (the bumper stickers will confirm this). Dull-mobiles - Larger Datsuns, Toyotas, etc. and mid sized American cars. These people are the filler material of the morning commute, kind of like the styrofoam stars (smagmumps (n.)) that you get in a shipping carton. They do not cause problems other than failing to realize that the car in front of them has moved, and therefore so should they. They do provide an infinite amount of reading material as they always want to tell you "What they (heart)", "What they would rather be doing", "What their other car is" (it never is!) and "Who does IT better". Pickup Trucks - Here there are two kinds, which are very different. Full size (also dually and 4X4) - Often rednecks and macho guys, they believe themselves reincarnated 18 wheelers. They love to eat at truck stops and their favorite sport is "punting" small cars. If you see one in your mirror, change lanes fast. Mini - The half of these that have been designated "work trucks" cause no problem (other that things falling out in front of you), but the ones that have been elevated to the status of "sports truck" are a menace. They have the worst traits of both Micro cars and Pseudo Sports Cars. This later variety has a tendency to congregate at fast food drive-ins and therefore made entering the parking lots of such a risky business. Motorhomes - These people failed to readjust their concept of vehicle size when they traded in their Oldsmobile for the Rolling Home. They travel at 15 mph below the speed limit (just to be safe) and often take their half of the road out of the middle. Never get behind one going uphill, or in front of one going down! Exception: If the motorhome is towing a race car get out of the way no matter what. Motorcycles - These are broken down into 5 main groups. Bikers - They are always Harleys (although some are now Harley-Clones). Usually not a problem unless encountered in large numbers. Never stop at a Cafe where more than three are parked. Canyon Crashers - These are they people that ride motorcycles that look like they were taken off the Star Wars set. They only run well at 12,000 rpms and will pass anything at anytime, anywhere. You can't avoid them, you can only hope that they avoid you. Winnebagos (two wheeled) - You some times wonder if there is a motorcycle under all that stuff, and what would happen if it fell over! They often tow trailers filled with all the stuff they couldn't fit on their bike. For the rest they follow the motorhome description (though they rarely tow race cars). Econo-bikers - Any bike that is not high-tech or a Harley. These people ride motorcycles because they cannot afford a car. They are most often seen splitting the lanes of traffic during the morning commute. They are the most obnoxious, but due to their driving habits they are self limiting. Scooters - These are yuppie-preppie-punk kind of people. They are obviously low on intelligence or they wouldn't be riding scooters, self limiting to a high degree. Look for them to do the "unexpected". Disclaimer: I have tried to insult all cars here seperately but equally, but as in every endeavor, total equality does not always, in the end, result. If you feel that I have failed to insult a particular vehicle or type of driver feel free to mail me you additions. Pete Bellas co: /dev/null But seriously folks /<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\ ^ ^ v Pete Bellas "When it is not necessary to make a decision, v ^ Citicorp TTI it is necessary to not make a decision." ^ v Santa Monica, CA Lord Faukland (Island) v ^ ^ v Path: ...!{randvax | trwrb | philabs | vortex}!ttidca!ttidcb!bellas v \<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>/