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From: skinner@saber.UUCP (Robert Skinner)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Best and Worst of 1985
Message-ID: <1919@saber.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 24-Jan-86 15:40:51 EST
Article-I.D.: saber.1919
Posted: Fri Jan 24 15:40:51 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 26-Jan-86 04:37:34 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: Saber Technology, San Jose, CA
Lines: 91


The January 5, 1986 Parade Magazine had an article entitled 

	"A Review of 1985, THE BEST AND WORST OF EVERYTHING".

Not much was really noteworthy, except these short clips.


WORST RESPONSE TO A CRISIS
	From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved 
in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs
damage my videotapes?

Parade's comment:  When the men in white coats come, go quietly.  They're
		   your friends.


WORST TRAVEL NEWS
	When EXECUTIVE TRAVEL invited readers to relate their worst
flying experience of the year, the winner, as reported by England's
THE DAILY TELEGRAPH, was the following:

	Nigerian soldiers, faced with sorting out the problem of an
    internal Nigerian Airways flight that had been three times
    overbooked, insisted that all passengers with boarding cards
    should run around the aircraft twice -- with the fastest
    qualifying for seats.

The runner-up, you will pardon the expression, was this entry:

	One passenger, waiting to leave Bangladesh for Heathrow,
    wondered why the crew ignored frantic hammering on the plane door
    from outside.  Eventually the door was opened and the pilot got
    in.


SECOND WORST DIVORCE NOTE
	Producer Caroline Thompson, finder and rescuer of two puppies
abandoned in Los Angeles' Dodgers Stadium, on being asked why she
didn't have the dogs "put down":  "How could I even think of killing
something that slept on my pillow -- except, of course, my
ex-husband.


WORST MORAL MAJORITY NOTE
	Letter by Ed Norris of Brooklyn to the New York Post:

	"Nancy Reagan chose as her special guests, to be honored at
the White House and presented to foreign dignitaries, Sylvester
Stallone and his live=in lover [Brigitte Nielsen of Denmark].
	"Does Nancy Reagan have such high respect for a woman who
deserted her husband and child without warning, came to New York and
sent a photo of herself and a letter to Stallone's hotel room saying
how much she admired him?
	"What does this say to all of us how believe in moral values.?"


My note:  I assume the foreign dignitaries weren't Russian or
	  SouthEast-Asian.


WORST PERSONAL
	From Weekly World News:

	Wyoming bachelor wants wife.  Must be interested in farming
and own tractor.  Please enclose picture, of tractor.


SECOND BEST SIGN
	Written across the sweatshirts of a husband-and-wife team that
finished the New York City Marathon:

	His:  NOW THAT THIS IS OVER
	Hers: CAN'T WE PLEASE HAVE A BABY?



Anybody have others?


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  Sheeesh, you guys are so un-hip, its a wonder your bums don't fall off."

Name:	Robert Skinner
Snail:	Saber Technology, 2381 Bering Drive, San Jose, California 95131
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