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From: kaufman@uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: New Twist on an Old Joke
Message-ID: <9900413@uiucdcs>
Date: Wed, 29-Jan-86 23:02:00 EST
Article-I.D.: uiucdcs.9900413
Posted: Wed Jan 29 23:02:00 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 1-Feb-86 01:19:12 EST
Lines: 34
Nf-ID: #N:uiucdcs:9900413:000:1766
Nf-From: uiucdcs.CS.UIUC.EDU!kaufman    Jan 29 22:02:00 1986


[note:  I'm sure half of you have heard this one before, but an updated punch
 line occurred to me over the weekend, and I hope you agree that it makes the
 joke even funnier]

A man went to a doctor.  Some say he went there to have an operation to become
Polish; others say he wanted to become an Aggie; there's yet another faction
who claims that he wanted to work at the post office.  Regardless, the doctor
asked him why, and he said it was something he always wanted to do, how he
wanted to be able to relate to his friends, all of whom I suppose were
Polish graduates of Texas A&M who had found jobs at the local P.O. :-)
Anyway, the doctor asked him his IQ, and when he gave a three-digit reply,
the doctor told him that the procedure would have to involve the removal of
over half of his brain.  The man insisted, and since the doctor just happened
to have a brand new laser device which could zap just the right portions of
brain tissue (a product of Scar Wars technology, I suppose), the operation was
planned.

The laser was hooked up to a computer which could monitor the man's declining
IQ on a nice LED display.  The doctor threw the switch and the numbers began
ticking off.  95, 94, 93, ...  Suddenly the phone rang.  It was the doctor's
wife.  They gabbed for minutes on end, the doctor forgetting completely about
his patient.  When he hung up, he suddenly realized, and ran into the operating
room, only to see the meter tick down:

6, 5, 4, ...

He ran to the machine and threw the on/off switch, just as the laser was about
to wipe out the last remnant of brain.  "Jesus, Matty and Felipe!" exclaimed
the doctor, "What have I done?  Speak to me.  Say anything!"

The man looked at him and said,

"Hi, you're watching MTV, and we just heard ..."