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From: pumphrey@ttidcb.UUCP (Larry Pumphrey)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Apocryphal Stories
Message-ID: <664@ttidcb.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 31-Jan-86 13:58:07 EST
Article-I.D.: ttidcb.664
Posted: Fri Jan 31 13:58:07 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 1-Feb-86 21:44:33 EST
Organization: TTI, Santa Monica, CA.
Lines: 28


   Let's start something new.  How about postings  of  apocryphal  stories.
   These  are  stories that the teller always swears are true and that they
   happened to him or a  friend  or  relative  of  his.  They  are  usually
   uproariously  funny  as  there is enough of a semblance of truth to them
   that they are believable (or maybe we just _want_  them  to  be  true!).
   Sometimes  you  know  the  story is apocryphal because you have heard it
   before.  I'll list a few examples to get this  started.  I'm  shortening
   each  to its bare essentials, they must be told with great embellishment
   for believability.

	1. The mother-in-law who dies while on vacation  in  Mexico
	   and is layed out inside a sleeping bag on top of the car
           in order to get  her  back  into  the  USA  (the  family
           doesn't  want  to  get  involved  with  Mexican coroner,
           police, etc.) only to have the car stolen after they re-
           enter the US.  The funny part of this story is  deciding
	   exactly how the auto-theft should be reported to the  US
           authorities!

	2. The dog who bites the plumber in the balls while  he  is
           repairing  a  homeowner's sink.  Plumber raises his head
           only to knock himself out on the  drainpipe.  Paramedics
           arrive and are carrying him out on a stretcher when they
           start laughing over the situation; whereupon  they  drop
           the  plumber,  breaking  his ankle.  Plumber wakes up in
           hospital with sore nuts, aching head  and  broken  ankle
           and can't figure out what in the hell happened.