Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site gondor.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ukma!psuvm.bitnet!psuvax1!gondor!okunewck
From: okunewck@gondor.UUCP (Philip E. OKunewick)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Misquotable quotes
Message-ID: <1981@gondor.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Feb-86 16:20:34 EST
Article-I.D.: gondor.1981
Posted: Mon Feb  3 16:20:34 1986
Date-Received: Thu, 6-Feb-86 04:35:23 EST
Reply-To: okunewck@gondor.UUCP (Philip E. OKunewick)
Organization: Pennsylvania State Univ.
Lines: 89

Quotes?  You got em!

"Into everyone's life, a little rain must fall,
    but this is ridiculous."
                                ---Noah


"I hate quotation."
                ---Ralph Waldo Emerson


"That's your problem, George.  You SMELL like a deodorant soap."


"I don't have any brakes, but that doesn't stop me."
                                 ---John Zokaites


"Who needs brakes?  They only slow you down."
                                 ---Jim Kalyvas


"Well, if they thought I could drive, they'd give me a license."
                                 ---John Zokaites


"I'll whup his ass!"
           ---Jimmy Carter (referring to the outcome of the 1980 election)


"Well, now that we've destroyed the bridge and the dam, we've got one last
problem: we're on the wrong side of the river."
                                ---Force 10 From Navarone


"I don't care what star you're following, get those damn camels off my lawn!"


"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today.  The results blacked
out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
                                        ---Steel City News


"The president publicly apologized today to all those offended by his brother's
remark, 'There's more Arabs in this country then there is Jews!'.  Those
offended include Arabs, Jews, and english teachers."
                                        ---Channel 11 news.


"...And the halftime score here at the Colleusium is Lions 7,
Christians Nothing.  We'll be right back after these messages..."


"The ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi."


"If you don't use two functions, you'll get an answer but it's wrong."
                                                 ---Keith Johnson


Princess Diana, to a one armed war veteran during
a visit to a London veterans hospital:

"I bet you have fun chasing the soap around the bathtub."


During the Reagan-Mondale debates...
     Q: "Do you feel that a person's age affects
           his ability to perform as president?"
REAGAN: "I refuse to make an issue out of
           my opponent's youth and inexperience."


"We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to
socialism, because socialism is defunct.  It dies all by iself.  The bad
thing is that socialism, being a victim of its... Did I say socialism?"
                                                     -Fidel Castro


"The rest of the proof should be obvious."
                                  ---Any math teacher


     
=============================================================================
The thoughts expressed in this note may or may not be those of
the speakers, but we'll blame 'em on them anyway.
=============================================================================
"I gave him carte blanche, and he spent it all!"