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From: swb@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU (Scott Brim)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Small Children and Nightmares
Message-ID: <192@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU>
Date: Thu, 30-Jan-86 13:19:42 EST
Article-I.D.: batcompu.192
Posted: Thu Jan 30 13:19:42 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 1-Feb-86 05:51:14 EST
References: <2845@wateng.UUCP> <765@gamma.UUCP>
Reply-To: swb@batcomputer.UUCP (Scott Brim)
Organization: Theory Center, Cornell University, Ithaca NY
Lines: 31

In article <765@gamma.UUCP> tif@gamma.UUCP (Barbara Charles) writes:
>I'm interested to know if any parents out there have small children you have
>nightmares and are afraid to go to sleep at night. .......
>............... I am concerned about her being too
>frightened to go to sleep even when she is very tired.

My eldest (now ten) had this problem until about age 5.  My 6 year old
boy still frequently feels scared when going to sleep.  I have no evidence at
all except our intuitive feeling about our kids' well-being, but we are
not concerned at all.  I believe that being scared at night actually has
something to do with mental growth -- I'm not going to be able to
put this into words completely, but something along the lines of: as
your mental (and spiritual if you like) faculties develop, your
awareness of the world, of yourself, of your own increasing depth, and
of your relationships grows.  This is completely new and uncertain
territory.  Children don't know what's happening as their selves fill
out; they seek for causes outside of themselves.  The world appears
strange because they are perceiving it with a new self.  There, I knew
I wouldn't do the idea justice.  Sounds too much like a Rajneeshi
advertisement.  Anyway, in practical terms, as a way of perceiving a
child's uncertainties it works just fine.

What we actually do:  On nights when our son appears particularly
uncentered we avoid any scary stories.  (We don't have a TV).  We give
him a full half-hour of bedtime wind-down, and as a last resort we
sing.  The singing is quite integrating for him.  Works quite well as
long as the parent is truly involved.  
-- 
Scott Brim				swb@devvax.tn.cornell.edu
Cornell University Theory Center	{decvax,ihnp4,cmcl2,vax135}!cornell!swb
607-256-8686				swb@cornella.bitnet