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From: mark@umcp-cs.UUCP (Mark Weiser)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Small Children and Nightmares
Message-ID: <2939@umcp-cs.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 30-Jan-86 02:17:51 EST
Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.2939
Posted: Thu Jan 30 02:17:51 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 1-Feb-86 06:16:27 EST
References: <2845@wateng.UUCP> <765@gamma.UUCP>
Reply-To: mark@maryland.UUCP (Mark Weiser)
Organization: U of Maryland, Computer Science Dept., College Park, MD
Lines: 43

In article <765@gamma.UUCP> tif@gamma.UUCP writes:
>I'm interested to know if any parents out there have small children you have
>nightmares and are afraid to go to sleep at night.  I have a 5 year old who
>all of a sudden is afraid to go to sleep.  Every night for about 2 weeks she
>has been coming to get into bed with us.  I'm all for the family bed ...
>

Both of our children went through this around age 4 or 5.  The oldest,
now 8, was over it by 6 or so.  The youngest, now 4.5, is having it
only mildly (so far).  With ours both the symptom was manifested by
lots of talking about how "I can sleep with my eyes open, Daddy.  I don't
have to shut my eyes, do I?".  (funny that they both expressed it this way...
something to do with our bedtime ritual I'm sure...)  We too permit NO
scary TV, including scary cartoons (no he-man or superheros, but
even Donald Duck can be violent), but the world is in fact a violent place
(if only via stamping ants) and so perhaps they pick it up by that age no 
matter what.

My experience is that there are occasional intense days of fear, lasting
a week or two, in which going to sleep needs to be extended with lots
of back rubbing (our patent sleeping potion) and reassurance.  In between
there are longer periods of frequent sleeping nightmares (crying out in sleep)
which if I wake up for I go in and again sit with the child (without waking 
them), stroke their hair, rub their back, etc.  This seems to have an instant 
calming effect.  Sometimes, and sometimes frequently, I don't wake up
but find a child (only the youngest these days) in our bed in the morning.
This is ok, and I'm guessing it will all pass like it did for the oldest.

Best of luck.
-mark

(I frequently (several times a month, usually several days in a
row) had very scary nightmares that would wake me in a cold sweat
and then keep me from sleeping from age 6 (perhaps I can't remember
them earlier) until age 22 or so.  Now 34, I have not had a relapse
for many years.   They had repeating themes (which I can still see vividly in 
my mind), and what seems to have gotten rid if them for me is some peer 
counseling (also over a period of years)on those themes (and others).)
(Don't ask.)
-- 
Spoken: Mark Weiser 	ARPA:	mark@maryland	Phone: +1-301-454-7817
CSNet:	mark@umcp-cs 	UUCP:	{seismo,allegra}!umcp-cs!mark
USPS: Computer Science Dept., University of Maryland, College Park, MD 20742