Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site randvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ukma!psuvm.bitnet!psuvax1!burdvax!sdcrdcf!randvax!jeanette From: jeanette@randvax.UUCP (Jeanette Haritan) Newsgroups: net.kids Subject: Re: Re: How do I get my kid off the bottle?! Message-ID: <2931@randvax.UUCP> Date: Wed, 5-Feb-86 08:46:28 EST Article-I.D.: randvax.2931 Posted: Wed Feb 5 08:46:28 1986 Date-Received: Sun, 9-Feb-86 05:35:14 EST References: <845@hou2d.UUCP> <771@hou2g.UUCP> <1013@terak.UUCP> <2904@randvax.UUCP> <1274@mtuxo.UUCP> Reply-To: jeanette@rand-unix.UUCP (Jeanette Haritan) Organization: Rand Corp., Santa Monica Lines: 79 In article <1274@mtuxo.UUCP> smuga@mtuxo.UUCP (j.smuga) writes: >> >WHY? WHY? Why does everyone seem to think a child must give up >> >a bottle, a pacifier, a blanket, etc. by some certain age? > >> > >> A child does not do certain things *by instinct*. A child has to be >> prodded, weaned, taught, trained. A child does not say to himself >> "Say, I just turned three, perhaps I should give the bottle the ol'heave >> ho!" This is similar to potty training. A child does not wake up one >> morning and say "Perhaps I shall try the toilet for a change". He has >> to be trained. >> >Wrong. Children do initiate progress. They want to learn to take >care of themselves. A parent's role is to *help**, not to force them. > Excuse me, but I disagree. There are SOME THINGS that a child will NOT DO on his own. The main interest in a child potty training (and, from what I understand, bottle weaning) is the parents' encouragement. If a child is noticing that his parents are pleased with his actions, he is encouraged. This is not MY OPINION, I have a source, but I have to look it up (newspaper). This is not an instinctive thing a child does. Also, if you recall, I did say that it is wise to check a child's reaction to your training. I was lucky. My son went off the bottle with no problem, until the baby was born. At that time, I was leniant and gave him the bottle again, until he came to the point where he no longer wanted the CUP, then I took the bottle away again, with no problem. (I didn't use any force) I have not yet had the opportunity to try to wean a child that had no interest in giving the bottle up. If our youngest doesn't want to give it up when the time comes, I'll try my best to wean him from it, but I certainly won't force the issue, as that could easily discourage the learning. >> A child HAS to give up the bottle at a certain time. > >Who says so? > Nobody says so, but I, as a parent, am concerned about his teeth, not to mention the fact that without my taking him off the bottle, he could very easily be the oldest child on the block still drinking from one, which is putting him in a situation where he could be teased by other children. >>You don't want him >> to start his first day in kindergarten with his bottle simply because HE >> still wants it at that age. > >He won't. "Who says so." >Anyway, the child in the original example only wanted the >bottle in the evening, as I recall. Sorry, I was generalizing, but I strongly believe (from proof; read other postings on this subject) that eveining bottles (bedtime) are the WORST for the child. You can call me a nasty old witch :-) (please don't!), but I love my son too much to allow his teeth to rot simply because he wanted his bottle at bedtime. >>That is where *you* as a parent comes in. It >> is up to you to decide if you feel he should give up his bottle. HE MAY >> NOT BE READY while he is still relatively young; check his reaction. Most >> children won't give up such comfort without a fight; give him another >> means of comfort. For example, there is a point where a child does not >> need his bottle for nourishment, therefore, it is used for comfort. It is >> YOUR RESPONSIBILITY (not your neighbor's, your mother's, any other >> mother's) to decide whether or not he is getting too old for this. If you >> think he is, see if he is just as happy taking a stuffed animal to bed, >> rather than a bottle. > >Raising children is much easier when you cooperate with them and give >them a chance to cooperate with you. I do cooperate with my son. He's 2-1/2 years old, and I must admit that he loves his mom, however, he also knows not to argue with her. :-) Understand that although most of the above comments stem from articles I have read, but alot are simply my opinion...as a parent, it is my responsibility to have opinions as to what I think is best for my children. It doesn't mean they are correct for someone else, but they seem to work for me. jlh