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From: doug@terak.UUCP (Doug Pardee)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: teenagers
Message-ID: <1041@terak.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 4-Feb-86 13:34:53 EST
Article-I.D.: terak.1041
Posted: Tue Feb  4 13:34:53 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Feb-86 06:17:45 EST
References: <420@drutx.UUCP> <642@tymix.UUCP>
Organization: Calcomp Display Products Division, Scottsdale, AZ, USA
Lines: 28

> My daughter is almost 14. She has alomst no assertiveness. I don't
> worry about her rebelling, I worry about her not standing up for herself.
> I am trying to find a balance between: holding her responsible for her
> actions, and not being so afraid of the results that she will not try
> anything. Sometimes I think she looses out on too much by being a 'good
> kid'.

In my teens, I was an unassertive 'good kid'.  This was due not to a
"lack of assertiveness", but rather to a high level of intellectual
maturity through which I could see that a 17-year-old does *not*
really know it all.  I was almost fanatical about "getting my facts
straight" before I spoke or acted.

No one needed to worry about whether I would accept responsibility,
either.  I knew full well what I could accept and what I couldn't.
Not that I didn't get into trouble from time to time -- but I never
got into any I couldn't get out of.  Although I came close once.
I seem to recall a Sheriff's Deputy pointing his gun in my direction.
Being a 'good kid' doesn't necessarily mean being good all of the
time :-)  [P.S. no arrest, no ticket, my folks never found out.]

By the way, I tend to think that there's only so much that a person
can learn in X years of childhood.  In my case, my intellectual
maturity came at a heavy cost in emotional immaturity.  But I was
able to cover up by always remaining unemotional.  Grown-ups sure
think it's great for a teenager to never get upset or lose his cool!
-- 
Doug Pardee -- CalComp -- {hardy,savax,seismo,decvax,ihnp4}!terak!doug