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From: cycy@isl1.ri.cmu.edu (Christopher Young)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Parents, children, and sexuality.
Message-ID: <225@isl1.ri.cmu.edu>
Date: Thu, 23-Jan-86 19:13:48 EST
Article-I.D.: isl1.225
Posted: Thu Jan 23 19:13:48 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 26-Jan-86 05:34:31 EST
References: <526@decwrl.DEC.COM>, <1300@hpda.UUCP>
Organization: Carnegie-Mellon University, CS/RI
Lines: 23

I can understand how Gerry feels in regard to lack of support from his
parents. I feel sad that they cannot understand my situation, or even
be supportive of the sexual aspect of my life. It feels disappointing,
especially since I have a s'other who I wishh could feel comfortable
and part of my family. However, bitterness only begets more bitterness and
negativeness. And it is not really our parents fault if they cannot understand
or be terrible supportive of us on that aspect of our lives. (My parents,
though, are supportive in many other ways...). They've been raised in a
society where bias against gays is very deeply entrenched. And it can become
a viscious circle. Most of our parents, I think, have to engage in a battle
with themselves when dealing with the news that their child is gay. They
have to deal with the values they've grown up with, often not just
"homosexuality is wrong" type values, but others that re-enforce such values.
They want grandchildren, and even though they may have no right to expect
any, it's a natural desire. They may have to even deal with their own fears,
insecurities, and doubts. So often, I think, it's not really all that much
easier for them to deal with our gayness than it is for us to. The best thing
we can do as a group is to work to change attitudes so that future generations
do not have to deal with the same difficulties concerning their sexuality
that most of us have. It can be done; it's a lot easier to come out now than
it was in the 50's, for example.

We need to turn negative feelings into positive energy. Hard, but possible.