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From: gsmith@brahms.BERKELEY.EDU (Gene Ward Smith)
Newsgroups: net.poems,net.religion.christian
Subject: Re: a love sonnet.
Message-ID: <11549@ucbvax.berkeley.edu.BERKELEY.EDU>
Date: Sat, 25-Jan-86 05:04:10 EST
Article-I.D.: ucbvax.11549
Posted: Sat Jan 25 05:04:10 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 26-Jan-86 03:55:23 EST
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Reply-To: gsmith@brahms.BERKELEY.EDU (Gene Ward Smith)
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
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Xref: watmath net.poems:1010 net.religion.christian:2331


  I liked it; all the more because it is one of the few submissions to 
net.poems that I found even half-way tolerable. I think a little less
"!" and less of a sense of being derivative from Hopkins would be good.
One avenue I think worth exploring would be to use contemporary language
(by which I mean no Poetic Diction in the classical sense) and perhaps
a less celebratory theme, attempting to cut a little deeper and show
something of yourself (in a non-egoistic manner, I mean -- how do you
relate to God? What is happening here?) and your own personal approach
to religious experience or whatever you wish to talk about.
 In any case, go ahead and submit more stuff. I absolutly felt no urge
to laugh myself sick reading it, and that is unusual for me when reading
net.poems submissions.

  Gene W. Smith

  P.S. : I tried to mail this, but couldn't figure out the right system.