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From: whitehur@tymix.UUCP (Pamela K. Whitehurst)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Re: Career vs. Relationship?
Message-ID: <644@tymix.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Feb-86 13:46:17 EST
Article-I.D.: tymix.644
Posted: Mon Feb  3 13:46:17 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 4-Feb-86 00:40:34 EST
References: <481@ssc-vax.UUCP> <2340@reed.UUCP> <2341@reed.UUCP>
Reply-To: whitehur@tymix.UUCP (Pamela K. Whitehurst)
Distribution: na
Organization: Tymnet Inc., Cupertino CA
Lines: 46

In article <1153@oddjob.UUCP> apak@oddjob.UUCP (Adrian Kent) writes:
>In article <191@batcomputer.TN.CORNELL.EDU> cheryl@batcomputer.UUCP () writes:
>>	Look, every hotshot
>>	undergrad in the country thinks he's going
>>	to bring his sweetie away with him and be
>>	the big married man, and in doing so, he
>>	is suddenly oh, so very wise and kind to
>>	his lady love by telling her he'll let her
>>	work, or he'll let her go to grad school.
>>
>>	Every year another crop of them, lemmings all.
>>	There's just nothing you can say to them.
>  
>      At the risk of breaking with net tradition, I agree with cheryl. In all
>the (as-good-as-)married couples from my year in college, that's basically
>what happened.  ...
>the only women I'd call successful have been those who've
>put other goals ahead of their relationships with men. 
>      So, a question: If you take cheryl's postings as generalised statements,
>rather than referring to particular individuals, do you think they're right?
>That is, do you think her advice is sound, statistically speaking? 
>                                              ak

Most of my disagreements with Cheryl's postings  are when she applies the 
general to the particular.  It is difficult to disagree with the statistics, 
I see examples every day.  But, everyone thinks they are exceptions.  I
believe that most men who insist on 'taking care of their wife' do not
think they are harming her. Women who follow their men anywhere are not
looking at what will happen if the relationship ends.  Why should it end,
they have the love that creates legends.  It is hard to force reality down
the throats of people who have stars in their eyes.

What really needs to happen is a new definition of 'caring'.  If I care for
someone then I wish them to be as strong and self-sufficient as possible.
I care about what happens to them in the future, when I may not be around
for one reason or another.  
-- 

+-------------------------------------------------------+
| General Disclaimer: The above opinions are my own and |
|             do not necessarily reflect the opinions   |
|             of McDonnell Douglas Corporation.         |
+-------------------------------------------------------+

          PKW
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