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From: jamcmullan@watmath.UUCP (Judy McMullan)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Re: Career vs. Relationship?
Message-ID: <1082@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Feb-86 11:09:55 EST
Article-I.D.: watmath.1082
Posted: Mon Feb  3 11:09:55 1986
Date-Received: Tue, 4-Feb-86 07:39:05 EST
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Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
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>By the way, the reason we reached this decision is because
>my field of endeavor pays quite a bit more than her chosen field.
>However, if the opposite was true, I would have given up my career and
>followed her wherever she went. I guess that's what love is all about.

The fact that a man gets paid more for his job than a woman partner is going to
be true in 80%? 90%? more? of such partnerships. For me, that wouldn't be
enough of a reason to uproot myself, anyway. I would not want to move very far
away from my relatives and friends -- I like them and want to see them! Nor
would I want to interrupt my own job just because my husband makes more than I
do. Why shouldn't he keep looking for his wonderfully-paid work where we are
now??

I guess reasons for following someone, for me, would be if they were somehow
going to be VERY unhappy staying and I thought I would be only slightly unhappy
following. This could include a career opportunity of
some kind for him or it could be that he was in some obscure specialized field
that could only be practised in a certain area. I would think long and hard
about whether I was willing to make the sacrifice, though. "Love" may compensate
for some things but a situation that goes on and on day after day can wear down
feelings of love until you resent the loved one for the sacrifice you have
made. If you have a good relationship, I think you should try to keep it good
instead of subjecting it to daily strain.

   --from the sssstickkky keyboard of JAM
   ...!{ihnp4|clyde|decvax}!watmath!jamcmullan