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From: tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter Barbee)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Re: Career vs. Relationship?
Message-ID: <1380@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Feb-86 15:47:56 EST
Article-I.D.: vax1.1380
Posted: Fri Feb  7 15:47:56 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 8-Feb-86 05:53:53 EST
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Cheryl;
>>> It is beneath a woman's 
>>> dignity to give up everything she stands for in the interests of an 
>>> harmonious domestic life.

Ryan; 
>> Luckily, men's dignity is sufficiently low that this would not be 
>> beneath theirs?

Ellen;
>Given the things some men argue about in this newsgroup, I might
>agree :-) but again no, *some* *rare* *men's* self-esteem is
>high enough that they can do this without feeling that they have
>made an intolerable sacrifice on behalf of the struggle for
>equality.  Honest, it can be done.  I know of ONE person who is
>doing it.
>
This does sound nice but isn't it patronizing?  I still like Jim
Dyer's statement that *anything* done on account of gender is sexist.

I agree with Cheryl that it is beneath a woman's dignity to give up
*everything* in the interest of an harmonius domestic life.  I think
it also beneath a man's dignity to do so.  People involved in partnerships
should share whatever sacrifices are necessary to insure the health of
the partnership.  To do otherwise is either patronizing and/or sexist.

This does not mean that everyone need be involved in a partnership.

Another point; could it be, Ellen, that the ONE person you know has not
in reality made any huge sacrifices?  How much do we ever know about the
workings of another's relationship?  The whole question of sacrifices is
a blurry one.  My personal philosphy states that few (so few as to not matter)
of us are capable of altruistic action.  Everything we do is for ourselves
although how it benefits us is not always apparent to us or others.  I
could go on and on about this point but won't now, it could be boring.

Peter B
ihnp4!uw-beaver!fluke!tron