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From: jevans@phoenix.UUCP (Janet Evans)
Newsgroups: net.suicide,net.college
Subject: info on depression, and helping a friend (query)
Message-ID: <120@phoenix.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 24-Feb-86 10:42:09 EST
Article-I.D.: phoenix.120
Posted: Mon Feb 24 10:42:09 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 28-Feb-86 22:07:20 EST
Sender: usenet@phoenix.UUCP
Reply-To: jevans@phoenix.UUCP (Janet Evans)
Organization: Advanced Computing Research, Inc.
Lines: 40
Xref: watmath net.suicide:846 net.college:1141

This message doesn't "really" belong in either of these groups, but these 
are my closest guesses.  I apologize if this is somehow inappropriate.

A very good friend has been depressed for a while (he mentions it 
occasionally).  Tonight he asked me for help, and I know dangerously little 
about the subject (i.e. I'm as likely to steer him wrong as I am to help him, 
and I don't want to screw things up further).  Two questions: Can anyone point
me to specific texts/papers on the subject (that either of us should read),
and can anyone make any suggestions about the specific problem (described 
below)?  Thanks.

My friend is a fourth year grad student at one of the better known 
universities for CS.  He feels that he is making inadequate progress
(despite what his advisor has to say) and that he doesn't know any more about
CS than the average undergrad (no offense meant to any undergrads out there).
I've tried to explain to him how little the average undergrad can do 
compared to a grad student, but with no luck.  He constantly thinks he's 
hopelessly incompetent (as grad students go) and hopelessly far behind (he's 
about a semester behind, I think, but that's not abnormal at this school).
He is probably accurate in stating that he is not a very good grad student,
though I have different reasons than he does.  (I think it's because he 
doesn't know what he wants yet, but he appears to be at least competent
in what he does.)

I'm trying to get him more involved in some other activities.  I have 
suggested that he ignore school for a few days and just go off and do 
something different (or do nothing at all, for that matter) but he laughed
and said he'd be even more behind then.  I think he is thinking about
dropping out of school for a while, but that he is having trouble dealing 
with that thought (it would be an acknowledgement of failure, or something).
He went through school at an abnormally high pace, so I suspect he's never
really had problems like this before.  (I doubt he's suicidal, by the way;
I think he looks down on that way out of problems.)

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Please post replies; this 
machine is going away in a few days (but some friends will make me hard 
copies of replies).

Thank you very much.