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From: ksh@rtgvax.UUCP (Kent S. Harris)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Letter written on the occasion of a prostate operation
Message-ID: <23@rtgvax.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 13-Feb-86 21:15:55 EST
Article-I.D.: rtgvax.23
Posted: Thu Feb 13 21:15:55 1986
Date-Received: Mon, 17-Feb-86 05:49:11 EST
Organization: Santa Clara Valley Computer Sciences, Cupertino, CA
Lines: 45
Keywords: prostate pun


       LETTER WRITTEN ON THE OCCASION OF A PROSTATE OPERATION

Dear Clyde,

	Suddenly I find out that you are ready for a roto-rooter job.
Rive told me when she called the other day.  I thought she was kidney.
You have been holding back on us.  Urethra take action or you will have
a dong gone rough time in the end.  You realize that your problem is nothing
to tinkle with and that life's pressures will probably force you into remedial
action, but the final incision has to be yours.

	If you don't mind a bit of advice, I would find a doctor whose
credentials are impeckerable and whose procedures are water-tight.
If you pick someone who is too old and crotchety, or some young piss-cutter
type who is cocksure of himself, you will be gonad it all wrong.  You
may get uptight and he'll bring things too rapidly to head.

	For heaven's sake, don't let him use the hot wire burn method.
It stinks.  Urological choice should be someone who is kind and genital,
very thorough and who gathers data on his patients by the reams.
Someone you had been drilled in his discipline and will get the job
done even if it is bit by bit.

	It augurs no good if you get all choked up.  Just put up a
good front and try to copulate with him.  Perhaps you should request
core samples down to the 12" level (I also have 12" but don't use it
as a rule).

	While you are prostate on his table, he'll probably run a couple
of testes.  Just groin and bare it.  The main thing is to make him
perform the operation in a hospital rather than scar you in the orifice.

	Finally, when it is all over and you are back on stream, make
sure that he fills you in on all the messy details rather than letting
him discharge you in an off-hand manner that leaves you dangling.

	I am interested in learning urinalysis of the doctor's
procedures.  I think this could turn out to be the most eunuch
experience of your life.

Sincerely,

Donald S. Harris
(1980)