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From: c8-bb@ucbzircon.BERKELEY.EDU (Stephen Mack)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: _The_ 3 best jokes -- agree or die  (medium long with sides)
Message-ID: <387@ucbjade.BERKELEY.EDU>
Date: Thu, 27-Feb-86 20:12:09 EST
Article-I.D.: ucbjade.387
Posted: Thu Feb 27 20:12:09 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 1-Mar-86 18:31:57 EST
Sender: network@ucbjade.BERKELEY.EDU
Reply-To: c8-bb@ucbzircon.BERKELEY.EDU (Stephen Mack)
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
Lines: 72
Keywords: best,humor,all-time

[Hello, Citizens of the Universe.  We are from Earth.  Have you eaten yet?]

Three of the BEST JOKES OF ALL TIME (which have been heard by most
people all of their lives) are:

/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/-\/-\-/

1. What do you call a boomerang which doesn't come back?  A stick.

%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%$%&%

2. "I was in  [fill in lesser-developed country of choice]  the
other week, and I had to get to the airport in a hurry,
so I hailed a taxi.  Well, I must say, the driver was insane!
Not three minutes after I hailed him, he ran a red light.
I yelled out, 'Hey, you just ran a red light!' (My tendency
to bespeak the obvious undoubtedly was quite poignantly received.)
He simply replied, 'Yes, I know, but don't worry -- my brother
taught me to drive, so everything is okay.'
"Then, not two blocks later, he stopped at the intersection -- and
the light was green!  So I said, 'Why have you stopped?  The
light is green!' And he said, 'I know, I'm just checking to see
if my brother's coming.'"

~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|

(WARNING: SOME NON-ROT OBSCENITY FOLLOWS: A FOUR LETTER WORD [horror!].)

And, in the real life humour (sic) section, I offer the following
TRUE story -- this happened to a speech coach at the High School
I went to:
 
3. For some reason, Trans-World Airlines [whatever] was selling T-shirts
to celebrate their n-millionth crossing of the Atlantic or the
Pacific or the dead sea or whatever they were crossing.  Anyway, the
T-shirt they were selling was only $3.00 and the speech coach
in question hadn't taken enough luggage along, so, she purchased one of
these T-shirts.

It was green, and written across the entire surface of the shirt was
the acronym for Trans-World.

You tell me what you see in it:

TWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWA
TWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWA
TWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWA
TWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWA
TWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWATWA

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Anyway, those just there were the THREE BEST JOKES OF ALL TIME.

Anyone who disagrees should re-consider their career choice.

(Lighten up, I don't REALLY mean you should re-consider your career
choice.  That's just a bit of exaggeration.  For emphasis, you know,
to show how LIGHT this subject matter is.  Really.  All seriousness
aside, what is implied is, 'Anyone who disagrees should
go out and feed Alka-Seltzer to seagulls [cross reference
to net.rumor here].)

--
"If the wind is blowing, no matter where you stand, it's always blowing
towards you."

Not my fault.  Dis claim, dat claim...

Quite seriously, just because you see "University of California, Berkeley"
does NOT mean they agree with me.  My opinions are not their opinions,
and should not be construed as such.