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From: jane@ames.UUCP (Jane Medefesser)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Spanking children
Message-ID: <1408@ames.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 20-Feb-86 11:51:47 EST
Article-I.D.: ames.1408
Posted: Thu Feb 20 11:51:47 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 23-Feb-86 19:10:38 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Mtn. View, CA
Lines: 58

> It is my view (having never been spanked, and having grown into a fairly
> reasonable person who would NEVER spank my own child), that
> 
> 1. spanking = child abuse.  Period.
> 2. it may produce immediate "results" but the long-term costs out-weigh
>    any short term benifiefits.
> 3. I hope "spankers" send their "justifications" to the author of the
>    original article via email--though it might provide interesting reading
>    (depressing too) to see why intelligent adults think they should smack 
>    their kids around (or their spouse around...  ).  No smiley here.

OH God, I just don't think you can generalize here. Spanking = Child Abuse??
I hardly think so. BEATING = Child abuse, yes, but a swat on the rear?
Poppycock. The key in dicipline is the attitude in which it's carried out.
Myself, I was spanked as a child. 95% of the time I asked for it and it 
worked. (Attn: Flamers - by 'asked for it', don't jump to the conclusion
that I enjoyed it or anything sicko like that! ) I think my folks quit
spanking me when I was truely old enough to reason with, say around 7 or 8.
I don't hate them, I don't feel abused in any way, and I feel that it was
justified. Quite honestly, my parents are loving and carring and only 
spanked us when the situation called for it.

I don't think it's depressing to pull a toddler away from a real danger,
like the lamp cords or something, and swat him on the rear after he's 
been told no 8 or 9 times. I also don't think a swat on the behind constitutes
smaking a kid around!!! My cousin doesn't do anything but talk to her preschool
son. The kid is a monster. ("No, darling, you must'nt climb on grammas new
table....." as the kid laughs in her face. ) 

Child abuse is carried out in a spirit of anger, impatience and lack of
self control. Child abuse can occur psychologically as well as physically.
Dicipline can be carried out physically as well as phychologically. The
world is a physical place and life offers many forms of physical dicipline,
many of them self imposed, many of them not. My parents were strict and
while their dicipline did not CENTER around spanking, you knew that if
you pushed their authority too far, you got one. I feel that their
strictness was a positive influence in my life. I resent the privilages
that were taken away from me at times more than the spankings!!! So,
it did actually have long term benefits, indirectly.

Now, I don't think that every child needs to be spanked in order to grow
up socially and emotionally adjusted, but when the situation calls for
a parental swat, I don't think that parent ought to feel guilty for it.

Please do not send me any flames personally. This is intended to be an
open forum discussion, I think. If you have a comment about my IQ, 
mental maturity or morals, tell your office mate, but respect my opinions
as ones' I am entitled to.

Send grammar and spelling flames to /dev/null. Grammar and spelling are not
my strong points. Neither is typing.


Jane Medefesser
Informatics General Corp.
NASA Ames Research Center 
Moffett Field, California
{..dual,riacs,hplabs,ihnp4}!ames!jane