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From: fine@nmtvax.UUCP (Andrew J Fine)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Spanking: no conflagrations needed, PLEASE!!!
Message-ID: <950@nmtvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 25-Feb-86 12:29:05 EST
Article-I.D.: nmtvax.950
Posted: Tue Feb 25 12:29:05 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 28-Feb-86 22:16:16 EST
Reply-To: fine@nmtvax.UUCP (Andrew J Fine)
Organization: New Mexico Tech, Socorro
Lines: 50

In article <> fcarmody@udenva.UUCP (Prince Caspian) writes:
>
>1) Spanking is *completely* reserved for instances involving 
>   A) direct defiance.  This is either outright refusal of the 
>child to obey an order, angry compliance, or post-tell-me-three-times
>resistance.  (What happens after the third warning or reminder).

"Angry compliance" should *never* be equated with direct defiance. If a child
obeys, a child should be entitled to his/her own thoughts on the matter.  In
fact, for a child to obey of his/her own free will in spite of a strong 
disagreement is a sign of great respect for the parent. 

It may even indicate to the parent that something the parent is ordering is 
seriously wrong according to the child. If not the case, the best way to handle
angry compliance is with open, frank, serious discussion *after* the child 
obeys.

An example from my own past. I hardly ever had to invoke it, but our family
rules allowed for this sort of thing. In private, an order one seriously 
disagreed with could be acknowledged by "Yes, Sir!", or "Yes, Ma'am" and
then executed immediately. The child would then have the right to explain why
that signal was invoked, in front of the entire family. A child could not 
exactly pull this thing in public, in which case the signal was to nod silently
and execute.

Some people may disagree, but I think spanking is appropriate for lies.

>4) This is the tricky part for some people.  Spanking is with a neutral
>object (not the hand, not a belt) suitable for the purpose.  I know of
>one family where each time a spanking would be necessary, the child 
>and his mother would go outside, and the lecture would start as they
>walked through the yard, looking for a switch or stick to be 
>used in the spanking.  In the end, the boy had to choose for himself,
>based, I am told, on his own conscience.  This seems like positive
>reinforcement of the lesson.

I disagree. Always by the hand, on bare buttocks. Use of an object creates
distance between the parent or child, and is also an invitation for abuse or
actual physical damage. 

>-- 
>
>- Prince Caspian of Narnia, AKA Francis X. Carmody
>Electronic Adress (UUcp only:{hplabs,seismo}!hao!udenva!fcarmody}
>OR: {boulder,cires,denelcor,cisden}!udenva!fcarmody
>The above opinions are my own, noone else in the known galaxy should be held responsable, except in the rare cases where they coincide with the opinions of Almighty God... In the above case, any disagreement with said opinions should be refferred