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From: hfavr@mtuxo.UUCP (a.reed)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: teens
Message-ID: <1358@mtuxo.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Mar-86 19:47:18 EST
Article-I.D.: mtuxo.1358
Posted: Mon Mar  3 19:47:18 1986
Date-Received: Wed, 5-Mar-86 04:00:38 EST
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>  Our sixteen year old and her boyfriend seem to be getting
> "very close".  I don't want to see her get pregnant.  I'm
> worried but don't know what to do.  Should I talk to her about
> birth control?  If so, how?

Many, if not most teenagers experiment with sex without waiting for
the context of a caring relationship. If you have reason to believe
that your daughter would not engage in sexual experimentation except
with someone she is "very close" with, then you are to be congratulated
on her character. And given that you have reason to be proud of her
character, you would be seriously remiss if you don't give her what she
needs to live responsibly. Indeed, birth control is best discussed
before pregnancy becomes, at puberty, a real possibility. So let us hope
that you are not too late.

My wife is the school psychologist of an affluent suburban high school,
and she is often concerned about the consequences of unplanned
pregnancies. This is the most frequent cause of serious attempts at
suicide among teenage women, and a frequent trigger of deep depression
and serious mental disturbance. An abortion, or giving up a baby for
adoption, usually results in deep emotional trauma. Keeping a baby
at that age usually prevents the teenager from ever developing
emotionally and intellectually into a fully functional adult. The better
colleges uniformly view an unplanned pregnancy as a sign of
irresponsibility, and so taking time off from school, once pregnant, can
be a long-lasting impediment. I hope this scares you, because I know
that you have no time to lose.

As for how to talk with your daughter about birth control, sensible
advice would probably fill a book, so it may be best for you to read
one or more. I would recommend "Sex and Birth Control" by Lieberman and
Peck; "Youth and Sex: Pleasure and Responsibility" by Gordon Jensen,
and "Sex Without Shame" by Alayne Yates. The latter book is especially
useful, since the Yates, a psychiatrist and the mother of thirteen
children, writes as much from her own experience as from psychological
theory. Read quickly and talk with your daughter soon.

					Adam Reed (ihnp4!npois!adam)