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From: blueskye@sun.uucp (Tim Ryan)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Gays and stereotypes. (A relativly young perspective)
Message-ID: <3234@sun.uucp>
Date: Thu, 13-Feb-86 11:35:05 EST
Article-I.D.: sun.3234
Posted: Thu Feb 13 11:35:05 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 15-Feb-86 02:34:16 EST
References: <83@mit-amt.MIT.EDU>
Organization: Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Lines: 46
Keywords: diversity, acceptance

In article 2498,  gerber@mit-amt.MIT.EDU (Andrew S. Gerber) writes
> 
> Yes, there are plenty of effeminate people around
> the Boston college groups.  But there are plenty of completly normal
> acting ones.  
What is "normal acting"? The apocryphal "straight acting and
appearing"?
> It's amazing when new people show up at a gay stuednt
> group - many of them ALREADY act effemiate before they 'come out'.
> Many others never act effeminate.  A few latch onto the 'dishing'
> etc., and grow more effeminate as time goes on.
> 
> Of the many young gay men I know (17-23 yrs old), only about 1/4 of
> them would I say "act gay".  Not that there's anything wrong with
> acting gay.  Some people use it as a personal identity - for others,
> they fall in with a bunch of gay friends who all act effeminate and
> will follw suit.
> 	When I first came out, I was amazed by the number of guys who
> I met were effemniate.  My gut reaction always was "I'm gay becasue I
> like men -- not men who act like women".
> 	Unfortunatly, it's the straight acting homosexual who is never
> counted - the news programs miss him, he finds a lover, and vanishes
> somewhere in the suburbs. (See the New York Times, 2/11/86, front
> page, second section) 
> 	What do you think the future holds?  Of your friends, how many
> are effemniate?  How many act straight?  
> 
This posting disturbs me very much.  Not because Andy Gerber dishes
about "effeminate" gay men, but because i've seen this attitude far
too often.  I suppose it's the same old argument, but i am really
amazed at the number of people, homosexual and heterosexual, who 
simply cannot accept diversity as a useful, interesting, and enriching
experience.  It bothers the hell out of me.  My immediate take is that
if gay men can't accept other gay men who are different (in whatever
respect--butch, fem, black, white, fuschia, catholic, jewish, muslim,
whatever difference) then how can we deal with our own fundamental
"difference" from the "rest of the world?"

My personal opinion is that we are no different from anyone else.  We
are all people with a vast, rich diversity, a world full of people and
experiences.  Let's stop trying to "fit in" and start being ourselves.

- tim ryan
	{the known world}!sun!blueskye

"Since you left / I've been watching / Blue skies / Come and go" a-ha