Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 4.3bsd-beta 6/6/85; site decwrl.DEC.COM Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!gamma!epsilon!zeta!sabre!petrus!bellcore!decvax!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-euclid!levasseur From: levasseur@euclid.DEC (Ray EMD & S Admin 223-5027) Newsgroups: net.motss Subject: Coupla Things Message-ID: <1186@decwrl.DEC.COM> Date: Mon, 17-Feb-86 10:47:22 EST Article-I.D.: decwrl.1186 Posted: Mon Feb 17 10:47:22 1986 Date-Received: Tue, 18-Feb-86 06:40:30 EST Sender: daemon@decwrl.DEC.COM Organization: Digital Equipment Corporation Lines: 109 Well, let me begin by saying that I was deluged with responses to my posting on "petty/catty/etc" behavior. I was not really looking for a bunch of answers, nor was I seeking free psychiatric help; my health insurance does not cover computer network head shrinking :-) The responses were from an equal number of hetero as well as homosexual men and women. A non gay female reader put it best: >among the best postings in this newsgroup. I hope that you don't mind but I >have shown many of your articles to coworkers, my husband and many of our >gay friends here in Rochester. I believe that you have many more friends than >you will admit to yourself. If it were not for the distance separating us, >I would say your welcome here any time for dinner or just to socialize with >our friends who would also like to meet you. Your last posting disturbed me >somewhat. What you are creating is a self fulfilling prophecy of alienation >by dropping out as you so put it. If it's any conselation life is no differ- >ent for heterosexuals than it is for you. It might help if you consider the >behavior you've highlighted as a basic flaw in human nature, not the gay comm >unity but all of mankind. You are right "it ain't pretty" but you are doing >yourself a grave disservice by foresaking what you seem to have worked so >hard to attain. By rejecting the gay community you have rejected yourself >and I don't think that is what you really want to do, is it? I for one will >miss your quick wit and insight into human behavior as many others will. We >are all good at giving advice but not taking it. Jason/Ray take some of the >same advice you've so generously shared with us. You'll be all the better >for doing so. This letter left me kinda speecheless! I was a little nearsighted, wallow- ing in bitterness. I have also polarized a (until recently) friend by a statement I made about his social circles. When I stop to think about it, I really haven't been treated any differently by straights then gays; they can be just as tacky and tasteless. Through a third party who works with my closest straight male friend I've learned that he's said some mighty nasty things behind my back but smiles to my face. My roomate and I went to a "get aquainted" party at the apartment complex we just moved into. We *both* were treated just as cat- ty as the worst gay bar situation I've been in. I've been covertly railroaded out of jobs by peers and superiors who were not gay and who acted pleasant to my face. So I guess that life *is* no different and if I drop out I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face. Since I expect to be ignored and shit on by straights I can ignore their behavior and rationalize it as semi-acceptance/ tolerance. I guess that I've just overreacted to the same behavior from within the gay community. As my roomate put it, "ignore it Ray! it's their problem not yours." Maybe I've been too sensitive and should loosen up. One thing that leaving Boston's gay ghetto has done for me is make me think about how everyone else as well as I interact with others. The straight guy who passes me in the hall and mutters "faggot" is no better than the bar queen who mutters "stay away from him, he's bad news" as I walk by. Immersing myself in ghetto culture made me see only gay ghetto behavior; ignoring the other 90% of society. Now that I'm in "yuppified" suburbia, I'm learning, there's no differ- ence. People is people and there's gonna be those who will act nasty so as to jocky themselves into a position of power.....no I'm not dropping out, just thinking *too* much. It's time to re-establish contact with those social groups I've foresaken, too bad if not *everyone* likes me....nuff said! * and now for something completely different! * About a couple of comments recently; advertising and looking straight. I'm an avid videophile and subscribe to a couple of trade rags, Video and Video Review to be precise. If you look in the advertising section there are a larger and larger number of ads for XXX videos. These mags have nothing to do with sex and some readers have written letters to the editors complaining about the smut ads. Sexually oriented advertising seems to be more invisible in mainstream publications than in gay ones. I regularly read the Advocate and am a little put off by the amount of space taken up by what was "the pink pages". Before one could yank out the pink section and leave the Advocate out on the coffee table. Now I don't since I don't want mom seeing ads for phone sex and Rick (Humongous) Donovan videos. What can I say "SEX SELLS" Go to an auto show, voluptuous models microphone in hand, extolling the virtues of the manufacturers they represent. I saw an ad a while back in an audio mag that showed a pretty girl in a tight tee shirt sporting huge buzzooms. The caption read something like "XXXX has what it takes up front" to promote the signal pulling power of a car stereo's tuner. Oh well nuff said on SEX in advertising, it's there and always will be for better or worse. "Straight acting and appearing" When I see this in a personal ad I envision a guy who speaks in a Midwestern monotone, wears a suit and discusses stock prices in the Wall Street Journal. What is gay or straight looking? Beats me, especially today. I see more and more kids/young adults wearing tight 501's, bomber jackets, clone haircuts and moustaches, cockring bracelets, earrings, etc. It's hard to tell the townies from the boys without a program. My roomate and I went shopping at the Mall of New Hampshire last Saturday. For those of you who will never get to shop there, it's a big suburban mall that tends to be very cruisy. We passed a group of guys who I'de swear were right out of the Castro area and they muttered "cahksukkahs!" as we walked by. Of course we also passed many kindred spirits. My roomate writes off the gay appearance of non gay males to a heightened awareness of appearance. The straight boys are much more clothing/body conscious then they were before. They're just picking up on the "hot" look that gays have capitalized on all along. I met a guy through a personal ad who was the epitamy of "straight acting and appearing". He never used the dreaded "G" word, never mentioned anything having to do with gay culture, did not cruise; at least as far as I could see spoke like a townie and dressed down, very conservative. He talked sports a lot and had Sports Illustrated out on the coffee table. I've also met guys who were straightr but had me fooled; they swished, talked with a lisp and acted as faggoty as the worst stereotype, but were as straight as one could be as far as sexual preference goes. What's gay and what's not? Long John Baldry, a Brit- ish folk/blues singer probably put it best in "A Thrill's a Thrill" Ya see the gays are straight And the straight's are queer And the bi's just call everybody dear. Oh well, just me talkin again. Ray Nausea, New Hampster: Where the men are men and the sheep have vacated due to rising rents and condo conversions.