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From: lonetto@phri.UUCP (Michael Lonetto)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The "no is forever" doctrine
Message-ID: <2244@phri.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 21-Feb-86 11:33:56 EST
Article-I.D.: phri.2244
Posted: Fri Feb 21 11:33:56 1986
Date-Received: Mon, 24-Feb-86 06:01:35 EST
References: <167@axiom.UUCP> <1271@lll-crg.ARpA> <305@unirot.UUCP>
Reply-To: lonetto@phri.UUCP (Michael Lonetto)
Organization: Public Health Research Inst. (NY, NY)
Lines: 24
Keywords: beyond the initial rejection

In article <305@unirot.UUCP> pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh) writes:
>
>A close friend and I were discussing what we do if a person we ask
>out says no the first time, or stands us up.  We discovered that
>we both adopt the same practice:  we do not try again, assuming that
>if the other person is really interested, he or she will ask the
>next time.
>
>What does everyone else think?  If you are told "no" the first time,
>do you give up?  Once you break up with someone, is it over for
>good?  Is "no" forever unless proven otherwise?


As someone just leaving singlehood (though I left in spirit almost a year
ago) I've had many experiences with people who say no and mean "I don't 
have my act together".   In general I haven't pursued the situation, but
a few times it was very obvious that someone had said "no" but was very 
interested.  In each case they turned out to be very interesting people, and
a couple of them are still very good friends.  On the other hand, romantic
relations with them were flawed by the fact that they really didn't know
what they wanted (as opposed to playing hard to get).  Things can get REAL
confusing in such a situation, but it can be real fun.

Good luck.