Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!ut-sally!pyramid!hplabs!tektronix!moiram
From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison )
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Truth is stranger than doctrine
Message-ID: <6645@tektronix.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 21-Feb-86 15:57:52 EST
Article-I.D.: tektroni.6645
Posted: Fri Feb 21 15:57:52 1986
Date-Received: Mon, 24-Feb-86 20:52:38 EST
References: <167@axiom.UUCP>
Reply-To: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison )
Organization: Tektronix, Inc., Beaverton, OR.
Lines: 25

In article <167@axiom.UUCP> ramberg@axiom.UUCP (Mark Ramberg) writes:
>
>[ description of interaction with woman who said "no" and meant "try
   a little harder"  when he asked if he could join her for a drink  ]

>Now I submit to the group, how do I avoid dry cleaning bills? What social
>conventions did I violate? Is this an isolated incedent or are the net
>women just more direct than the mass of women? 

Alas, it is probably not an isolated incident.  But the point is (at
the risk of being cliche), if you're not part of the solution, you 
are part of the problem.  

The solution-oriented response is to politely tell her you took her
at her word, and are not interested in trying to second-guess her
wishes.  As others have pointed out (but it may have been in net.women),
if all men assume a woman means "no" when she says "no", the women
who are playing these adolescent games will have to stop playing them,
or endure the loneliness.

And think about it, wouldn't you really rather relate with people
whom you can trust to be honest with you?

Moira Mallison
tektronix!moiram