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From: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Greener Pastures and Topics,Bitte!(really long relationships)
Message-ID: <314@unirot.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 27-Feb-86 20:48:04 EST
Article-I.D.: unirot.314
Posted: Thu Feb 27 20:48:04 1986
Date-Received: Sat, 1-Mar-86 17:38:18 EST
References: <11952@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU> <3172@sdcc3.UUCP> <901@felix.UUCP> <2254@phri.UUCP>
Reply-To: pooh@unirot.UUCP (Pooh)
Organization: The Soup Kitchen, Piscataway NJ
Lines: 42
Keywords: New topics.

>In article <901@felix.UUCP> daver@felix.UUCP (Dave Richards) writes:
>I'm a strong believer in very long engagements, but even so, I have yet to
>seriously consider marriage.  Why?  Because I can't imagine making the
>promise to love someone the rest of my life.  Isn't it a lot to ask to
>expect two people not to change over a 60 year span?  As far as likes,
>dislikes, personality, etc.?  I note with amusement some of the newer
>ceremonies have replaced the phrase, "'till death do you part."
>The funniest one I've heard was, "'till the relationship shall end."
>What kind of commitment is that?! (rhetorical question)
>Oh well, at least it's honest.

Many friends of mine are afraid to enter into ANY kind of relationship
these days.  The reason most expressed is, "I don't want to ruin the
friendship that is already growing."  They would rather take the sure
bet, friendship, than take the risk that this great friendship could
become something even greater.

If you take the first tack, you end up with many good friendships,
but, as one friend says, "You also end up with no SOs."

What I think they're looking for is a guarantee, one which is both
difficult to make and to believe in.  Think of how many promising
friendships you've started over the years which died out for some
reason or another.  You can't get a guarantee in a friendship either,
so how can you expect one in something even rarer and more precious
like a romance?

The only thing I expect to bring with me into a marriage is a willingness
and commitment to TRY.  I won't expect my partner or myself to be
a fortune teller.  For those who object that if I don't believe it's
going to be forever, it won't be, I say:  Are you placing the idea of the
commitment ABOVE the relationship as it really is?

As far as ANY level of relationship goes,
my attitude is, if you don't bet, you can't win.  I just took the
plunge again myself, and I'm certainly not regretting it!

Pooh                topaz!unipress!pooh
                    topaz!unirot!pooh

"I have such a lack of ^H^H^H^H^H ^H^H^H eloquence and honest
 self-expression. . ."