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From: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Interesting article
Message-ID: <694@rti-sel.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 28-Feb-86 11:48:12 EST
Article-I.D.: rti-sel.694
Posted: Fri Feb 28 11:48:12 1986
Date-Received: Sun, 2-Mar-86 00:17:21 EST
References: <489@ssc-bee.UUCP> <162@gsg.UUCP>
Reply-To: wfi@rti-sel.UUCP (William Ingogly)
Organization: Research Triangle Institute, NC
Lines: 70

In article <162@gsg.UUCP> kathy@gsg.UUCP (Kathryn Smith) writes:

>	In the above mentioned article the author observes that men seem to
>be "dense" about noticing when a woman is interested in them.  This seems to
>me to be part of a more general phenomenon -- men just don't seem to notice
>what is going on emotionally in the people around them anywhere near as quickly
>as women.  ...
>     Do people think this is something cultural, or have I just managed to 
>find a group of people who all happen to share the same blind spot?

There are several interesting things to consider here. A good starting 
point for discussion might be a taxonomic listing of the possible
causes of your perception:

    1. Men in fact are less sensitive to emotional interactions,
       their own as well as others. Possible reasons:

       (a) Because of acculturation/genetics/whatever, men are
           less capable of assessing this kind of behavior

       (b) Men are capable of this kind of assessment, but
           tend to 'block' their perceptions to maintain a 
           certain image in society

       (c) Men avoid this kind of assessment to protect themselves
           from hurt in interactions

       (d) Cultural roles require less sensitivity of men and/or
           more sensitivity of women
          
    2. Men are as sensitive as women to these things, but they
       don't feel comfortable talking about these things. This
       may have to do with:

       (a) Maintainance of a certain image in social interactions;
           that is, a sort of male taboo against talking about these
           things in public

       (b) Protection from painful self-analysis and self-criticism

    3. Men are sensitive to emotional things and talk about them
       to each other, but don't feel comfortable talking about
       them to women. Possible reasons:

       (a) There is a taboo against the discussion of such matters
           with the opposite sex

       (b) Because of male perceptions of male/female interactions,
           this kind of interaction with females is seen as 
           threatening in some way

    4. Men are sensitive to emotional things and discuss them freely,
       but women's perceptions of male behavior are skewed in such a
       way as to lead them to believe that males are less 'sensitive'
       in some way.

What do I think? I think males in our society are trained to believe
that sensitivity to emotional interactions is somehow unmanly. Few
people would deny that most males are trained at an early age to hide
or moderate their own emotional responses to situations; we're all
told to take it like men, act our ages, stop crying like a little boy,
etc. The natural result of this is, I think, a certain desensitization
to ALL emotional interactions taking place around us. Female emotional
reactions are not inhibited to the same degree, so I think women tend
to be more attentive to the emotional contingencies around them. This
is relative, of course; there are women whose emotional responses are
stifled at an early age, and men who develop finely-tuned sensitivities
in spite of the acculturation.

                        -- Cheers, Bill Ingogly